Tags: dating



Kuma Inn, NYC

: Can we tell people that I'm good at math? They'd believe that cause I'm Asian.
Her: What are my people known for?
Me: Um, colonizing minorities, spheres of influence, plying my people with opium, the usual.
Her: Not my people. We were too busy dying of potato famine.

Killed a fly today by kicking it as it landed on the wall. Felt very proud. I'm sure it means little to you, but I'm 36. Being fast enough to kill a fly on the wall with your feet is a big thing to me.

Really gotta get out more.

Speaking of getting out, and to continue from the previous post, last night, took Heartgirl to Kuma Inn where we downed some excellent Filipino food - if you're gonna go, you need reservations, then you got 90 minutes to eat. If you're going on a date, bring your own bottle of wine (no rum allowed, I'm afraid) and ask for the corner table.

She and I played hooky today and we sat in the sun for some Mexican food. Later that night, saw Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist.

The real Nick and Nora were based on a old book/movie called The Thin Man. If you like how I write, consider reading some hardboiled crime drama. It's what I actually write when I'm not writing this blog.

Dunno if I ever told you that.

Been working on a novel for eight years. Really should tie that up. You'd buy a copy, yeah?

Kuma Inn, NYC

Music: minutes, it's been days, it's been all I will remember
YASYCTAI: Go for a walk if it's sunny. There're never enough sunny days. (30 mins/1 pt)


Did you know?

Went on a day trip recently with Heartgirl to a place out in the burbs. I'd gotten up in the middle of the night per my usual insomnia and made a racket looking for the bathroom door.

Me: (silence)
Her: (silence)
Me: I think I'm in the closet.
Her: (wakes up laughing) I can't...breathe...(laughs harder) I thought...I was dreaming that...

Another three feet in, pretty sure I'd be somewhere in Narnia telling Mr. Tumnus that I was just looking for the bathroom.


My friends think I'm a bit paranoid cause I tape up my notebook's camera in case someone puts in a trojan that let's people video me. It's very true.


Me: ...the usual. What's shaking with you? How was your weekend? And can I borrow $24,938? Answer the third question first.
Her: I have $13 and a lot of couch-cushion change. Does that help?

Been chatting with my friend KC and it seems that one outta eight marriages last year came from online dating. The way I see it, it's like you got a friend named Match or whatnot that says, "Hey, I've got a girlie you might like." It's just another medium to meet someone. Onea Heartgirl's friends and I also got into a similar conversation about dating over the weekend.

Her: Where do I go to meet someone that I'll actually like?
Me: We live in NYC - there're all over the place.
Her: The guys I want to talk to me, don't. And the guys I don't, do.
Me: You should talk to the guys you wanna talk to. Cause people're lonlier than you might think.

S'funny. She too wondered if I spent all my time watching The Pickup Artist. The pickup is actually more a question of guts than anything else, IMHO. My feeling is that, if you're a dude and just a little less broken, a little more sober, and just slightly more interesting than the dudes around you, you'll be fine.

To be more sober, drink more water. To be slightly more interesting, say the first thing that pops into you head alla time.* As for not being broken, now that's hard...
*Note, this does not work if you're an idiot or if you're a douche - consider faking being smart and non-douchey.

Music: right here, right now
YASYCTAI: Take an improv class already. At the worst, you'll have fun. At the best, you'll be faster on your feet. (6 weeks/2 pts)

Snowed in

A metro station in Washington DC

Gio had his annual birthday party this past weekend. His buddy, Ron, rented out this entire club in Times Square with a top-shelf open bar and scantily clad dancers. Wish I brought my camera. Heartgirl met some old friends of mine and brought some of her own.

Two fellas were hitting on her so I took the time to sneak away and stuff my face and watch them try. Ended up talking to an old friend who's taking a break from her boyfriend because after eight years, she's still not a Mrs. but rather a Ms. She's probably one of my most attractive and sweetest friends.

Her: Man, Logan. Only you can go to a party and bring a girl down.
Me: Don't mean to. Just think you deserve better. Cause y'do. S'long time to wait for a day that might never come.

Heartgirl recently saw the Sex in the City film. One of the characters is stood up at her wedding. It's funny - I always wondered who'd try to marry someone that might bail. Figured that it's something one would know beforehand, right?

Gave her a hug as Heartgirl sat down next to me and patted my hand.

I then drank enough rum to kill an elephant and stumbled home at 3, I think. But, as always, woke up without a hangover. Rum's the best.

Was trapped in my apartment into Monday due to the snowstorm.

Me: It's Monday. It's my workout day.
Her: What does that mean?
Me: It means that I put on an electric blue spandex outfit with matching legwarmers and crank up Olivia Newton-John's (Let's Get) Physical. I think our relationship's strong enough to handle it.
Her: Logan, no relationship is that strong.

An eyelash was on my face so she told me to blow it off her finger and make a wish, so I did.

Music: something to keep the chill From freezing our own free will
YASYCTAI: Maybe it's time to learn to cook something new. Try salmon. (60 mins/1 pt)


NYC cityscape from the Hearst Building

Had a nice St. Valentine's day with a quiet dinner. And Heartgirl demolishing me in Big Brain Academy.


A neighbor's bumped into me and several women I've dated. It's a running joke between us. Ran into her again over the weekend and I told her about Heartgirl.

Her: Four months? That's a record for you!
Me: (laughing) I suppose. I guess I'm just too old for it now.

S'funny cause alla my college friends knew me as the serial monogamist. Friday, saw an old buddy that only knew me as the computer guy with all the suits yet another friend says he's never seen me in anything but tee-shirts and jeans.

A guy I tangled with was surprised I had a college degree. A girl I tangoed with was surprised I had my quiet nights.

S'funny what people think we are and what we think we are. Me? I think I'm just a recovering dork that doesn't mind so much any more - see below for proof.

BTW, since I'm not dating wildly any more, read my friend Trix's blog for a woman's perspective in NYC dating: Friday I'm in Love.

Trix: [Dating] hasn't been as fun lately. I just got tired of it.
Me: It does get tiring - all the hellos and goodbyes...
Her: ...and the crazy.

Music: You can never get enough Enough of this stuff
YASYCTAI: What do you think you look like? (1 min /1 pt)


NY Submission Shootout!

: I've got a lotta anxiety.
Me: You know what anxiety is? It's the fear of the hypothetical. And the opposite of fear isn't bravery - it's preparedness.
Buddy of mine recently got his relationship walking papers - he was anxious bout getting dumped and then anxious bout dating again. Get dumped once or twice, it rocks you. Get and give walking papers a dozen times a month, doesn't matter as much. Ask for a number twice a year and there's an anxiety attached to it. Ask for a number four days a week, for a year, and it becomes a whole lotta nuthin.

Well, nuthin and a stack of paper scraps with funny little drawings on them.

You've seen street beef before, right? Two guys all up in each other's grill? Lots of show and puffery. But the guys that truly know how to tangle don't do that. They either walk away or shrug and swing.

The closest I got to street beef recently was maybe five years ago? I said, OK, let's go. Then he flinched. Wimp. So I rolled my eyes and rolled home. Not that I can actually fight, mind you.

This past weekend
, was with some of the best submission guys in the city. Yeah, there were some meatheads but these guys were mostly pretty polite. When you got a room fulla well-trained brawlers, you sorta gotta be polite. Saw this one kid just a few pounds heavier than me just demolished a guy that outweighed him by 60 pounds and a foot of height. So impressed.

These guys're prepared.

I've not been sleeping well again. Guess I got my own fear of the hypothetical. Was prepared for slowdowns; up until I got jacked. So I've been sending out the resume and calling up old contacts to prepare all over again.

Man, isn't it always the punch you don't see coming that gets you?

Music: me ready for dem but dem no ready for me
YASYCTAI: You should start preparing for the things you know're coming. (time/1 pt)

Done, done

: I've always been honest to you.
Her: I know it and I hate it. (pause) I'm just jealous because boys always pick me.
Me: (laughing)
Her: It's true!
Me: I know it. I know it.

While we never see each other, PCD and I still chat online. We spoke the other night cause I was too tired to type. She's thinking of starting a blog too, told her she should.

Her: You're not right for me, I know that.
Me: That's the thing about her. I think I'm right for her and she's right for me. We're appropriate for each other.
Her: I'd hate that - to appropriate for someone else.
Me: It's not a bad thing. It's hard for a boy like me to just stop, y'get used to the random nights. You know that better than most people - that it's hard to stop and say, I pick you. To be done, y'know?
Her: Are you done, done?
Me: I hope so. (pause) I really like her.
Her: (thinking) Good then. I want you to be happy.

If there's one common trait to the people I'm actually close to, it's that they're all really good people. My dad says that if you find good people in the world, you should keep them around at all costs.

He's a smart man, my dad.

This post continued here.

Music: No one ever said it would be so hard
YASYCTAI: Figure out which one of your friends are worth the effort and drop them a line. (hours/2 pts)

This time

Saw Gio tonight off Times Square. It was a networking thingy and they had some good rum. Probably not a good idea since I went fencing afterward.

The weird thing is that it was across the street from my old pad. Hadn't been there in a while. Ayn Rand wrote of NYC in The Fountainhead:

I would give the greatest sunset in the world for one sight of New York's skyline....When I see the city from my window - no, I don't feel how small I am - but I feel that if a war came to threaten this, I would throw myself into space, over the city, and protect these buildings with my body.

Y'know when you love someone, you'd end anyone that'd do them harm? It's like that.

Wish I could put it in my pocket and pull it out to show you Nino's where I had the best Penne with Vodka Sauce, or the Algonquin Hotel where I'd wish I had dough or the chops to sit at the Vicious Circle, or my corner on 46th and 6th Avenue, where I'd sneak a cigarette at 3AM when I couldn't sleep and wait for the sun to come up. Or my office at 1500 Broadway where I'd look out and see TRL being recorded with those freakin kids screaming.

OK, that I got a picture of.

Feel so damn nostalgic. Wanted to talk to Heartgirl about it but she was busy. S'ok, I'm hoping we have plenty of time to talk about these kinda things.

Speaking of Heartgirl, she doesn't wanna show up here. So I won't write of her anymore. Maybe she'll change her mind but don't think so. Cause she thinks that this is a blog about me being a womanizer - but that's just the marketing message.

Me: It's not. (pause) The truth is, it's the story of a boy like me looking for a girlie like you. (thinking) And hoping, I mean really, really hoping, that this time, it'll be different.

Music: I wish I knew the time that I've taken I pray is not wasted
YASYCTAI: Post a picture of your neighborhood for me (5 mins/1 pt)

Can you hold this for me?

It appears that the weekend life of a reforming womanizer's pretty boring and may involve: leaving parties at 12:30, picking up women for friends, cleaning the house and eating one's weight in blueberries. Alla which are far more entertaining with a Dark 'n Stormy.

Told you before that I've done some awful things in my life. Most I can't talk about. But one thing I'm deeply ashamed of is the number of times someone gave me their heart and essentially said, Here, can you hold this for me? And take carea it, willya?

And I nod and immediately turn around, stomp the crap outta it and hand it back a wreck. It's a jerk thing to do. And I did it way too often in my 20s.

Course, someone did it to me two years ago and nuthin realigns your thinking faster than eating the stuff you make someone else eat, yeah?

That's why I keep thinking of Caligirl and if she's right. What if I really do screw everything up so I don't have to go through it again? Sir Edumond Hilary once said that, It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.

It's not easy, trying to be a better than you once were.

Music: I know I've got to let it go and just enjoy the show
YASYCTAI: Get your shoes shined. They'll last longer and you'll look better. Hurry, before it's winter. (10 mins/1 pt)

My life in print

: You're good to me.
Me: I like seeing you happy.

Y'remember that client that I told you I just got, King Happy Shrimp Rice, Ltd? Just picked up a national magazine on the newsstand this week and was shocked to learn that it was named one of the best Chinese restaurants in the NY. Damn. I knew I shoulda charged more. (Yes, I changed the name slightly - I'm not insane).

Speaking of which, my ex and two of the other men she was seeing at that time are all journalists so I had the misfortune of running into them all regularly as I read my morning paper. The married dude was in the same paper. Of course. As a weird coda t'all this, got an email today from an ISP telling me that the URL I reserved for when she and I got married expired.

Eh, I'm ok with it.

Damn, I get a lotta junk mail.

Saw Heartgirl for dinner the other night. We ordered delivery and saw a flick - hooked up my computer to her plasma TV. She didn't understand why I didn't just bring a DVD till I explained to her that all my DVDs were converted to computer files. She was ill-prepared for my level of nerd. It was actually so much fun that, if I didn't know better, I'd say we were on a date. But she says we weren't so who am I to argue? I'm seeing her again this week for another non-date, date. Can't explain it cause I don't understand it myself.

Today, woke up early but got to where I needed to be late cause a charming girlie by the pier was distracting me. Of course. Got two new fencing students for some private tutoring so I rushed home to get stabbed and punched. Repeatedly.

More things happened but nuthin that'd interest you.

Her: ...and that's how my four-year old cousin learned the word, Zamboni. The End.
Me: (laughing) You always end your stories with "The End."
Her: Well, that's how you know the story's over, Logan.
Me: (nodding) Of course.
The End

Music: give us the greens of summers
YASYCTAI: Learn that irrespective (of) and regardless are words; irregardless is not. (0 mins/0 pts - cm'on, you should know this already)


Our trespasses

In any relationship, there's always the time when you're faced with two competing, equally valid, points of view.
  • On the one hand, you should never accept piss-poor behaviour.
  • On the other hand, you should forgive people their screw-ups.
Friday, was supposed to see someone but she just completely flaked. Not even a text saying, Not showing up. Her explanation was that this is her reality - this is acceptable behaviour for her and her friends. Which only makes me believe more than ever that you are the company you keep. Should point out we got into what I thought was a minor disagreement but what she thought was a full on argument prior to the evening.

When we finally spoke, I was livid.

But here's the thing: after all was said and done, she pointed out one time that I showed piss-poor behaviour. And she said she forgave me.

Y'know, every night, every single one, I ask to be forgiven our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us. These can't be empty words. Cause, I gotta believe you're more than just your thoughtless screw-ups. Cause, I gotta believe that I'm more than my awful things.

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Music: I know enough to know when someone trusts you