I'm tired - my insomnia's returned. I'm running about at half-speed and, more stressing, half-wit.
I saw my ex again a few days ago. She came by to pick up one last thing she left here. It was actually pleasant. She and I both managed to crack a smile or two.
I told her that I was seeing someone. Nothing yet, I said, more the chance that it could be something.
She nodded and slowly smiled and said that she hoped it worked out for me.
I believe her.
She also said that I should get a handle on my insomnia because it was a major problem in our relationship. (The irony of her comment was that it kept me up all night despite a massive
amount of chemicals.)
But the other thing that kept my past girlfriends and me from being happy, I realized, was pride. Admittedly, it was usually mine. It's a horrid sin.
Our respective pride has not served my ex nor me well.
Regardless of who I end up, I've decided to choose her over my pride.
Pride enables you to say, "But at least I was right," to an empty room.
And I tell you from experience that there's no more deafening an echo than that.
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