Paul stopped by my place the other night. There was a time when I'd spend mosta my time with him chatting about Heartgirl rather than the other way round.

He's still (kinda) living the life of a singleton - he's got his front-runner - as're lotsa my other friends. S'funny, the charm of being single's the potential to meet someone that makes you not.

This salesman named Alan Stillman was tired of being single so he started a bar to pick up girlies on 63rd Street and 1st Ave back in 1965. Dunno if it worked but kinda shows what people'll do to not be by their lonesome.

Which kinda makes me wonder why people don't explore the avenues out there to meet someone appropriate.

Like online dating - dunno why anyone's got anything against it. The actual meeting of a body makes it just as normal as anything else. Sides, how's it any more likely you're gonna meet your better half in some smoky bar?

Said it before, it's like y'got this aunt named Match or something like that, who says to you, "I know that guy/girl that y'might like." Plus, how often when you go out and about do you also get a resume of the person in front of your face?

Oh, the name of the joint that that guy Stillman started was TGI Friday's - he also started Smith & Wollensky's, the joint that HG brought me on my bday.

Y'probably aren't gonna meet someone right for you in TGI Friday's but you get my point.

Music: we the stars Steady rockin' on y'alls boulevards
YASYCTAI: Try cooking something completely new today. (30 mins/1 pt)
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Spent the last two months planning a surprise birthday for Heartgirl.

Everyone should have a nice surprise from time-to-time. Mine are always of the, "Think you should sit down," ilk.

Started off with a buncha her friends at a tapas joint Saturday. Four pitchers of sangria and 24+ plates of food later, waddled off to M1-5, where we threw the opening party for 72nd to Canal. Heartgirl was totally surprised.

Her best friend brought a huge cake (and I forgot Clara, my newest camera). We barely made a dent in it. Interestingly, her best friend's also Irish and her husband's also Asian. He and I spent the tail end of the night picking at the cake. Mainly cause we just don't let things go to waste like that.

Rain, Paul, Tess, WM, Gio and Hazel all made an appearance too, if only just to drink with me. We had a whole section to ourselves. It was 2AM when we left and 4AM when we called it a night.


Sunday, Heartgirl and I took the whip out in a misguided attempt to go shopping in the burbs. The reason why it was misguided is best illustrated with Boolean logic:

Elements ()

• Gut-wrenching nausea (Gwn)
• Hangover (H)
• Heatgirl (Hg)
• Logan (L)
• Rum (R)
• Wine (W)
• Sundry alcoholic products (S)

Where

• + = "and"
• ~ = "not" or "no"
• - = "but not"
• = = "results in"

Ergo

• L+R=~H
• Hg+W+S-R=H+Gwn

In short, my trip to the burbs was ill-conceived at best.

However, Heartgirl did note that she enjoyed her birthday greatly. She said she was glad she spent it with me, then fell asleep on my couch as I went off to church.

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In other news, the buddy that swung by last time when that woman was screaming Chinatown came by again and brought me out for Malaysian food on his per diem. Man, I miss having a diem.

And I'm becoming a chunky monkey. Gotta start working out again. Stupid cold...

Music: count to five Let's craft the only thing we know into surprise
YASYCTAI: Try some new cuisine. Like Spanish tapas. (60 mins/1 pt)
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Don't wanna go out for my birthday but Paul insists. He, Hazel and WM take me out for some killer Indian food. Afterward, Paul and Hazel pick up a bottle of rum and we kill it on a balcony overlooking Broadway in the Village. Paul even picked up a cake.


Stupid friends won't even let a guy be depressed on his birthday.


Saturday, dash off to Brooklyn for something and rush home to make a wedding for a buddy I've not seen in years. The most beautiful woman in the room spies me walking in and takes my hand.


My world's a small place. Alla my guy friends are comparing their ueber expensive automatic watches. Sold mine to pay for for law school stuff. Miss my Seamaster the most.

But don't have time to be sad. Dash off to see my buddy El for her housewarming. Rain and the gang're there including Tess (who's in Kings, should it not get canceled) and Eve. We all go up to the roof, which is dark. But not in a cool way, more in a pitch black kinda way.



While there, get a call from a girl Shin I've not seen in 15 years telling me she's in town. She's a professor now. Crazy. So we meet up and soon, about eight of us are in a karaoke bar downtown where people are butchering Phil Collins.

My brother's best friend is there with her 18 year old sister who delights in the fact that I'm, quite literally, twice her age now. She puts a note in front of me that makes me laugh. But it's almost 3AM and Shin's boyfriend turns out to be a drunk douche so I bounce before I can deck him.


Yesterday, I see Heartgirl. We go out and she has a glass of wine and listens to my stories. I like her more than anything. Even rum.

Today, have dinner with the family at an all-you-can eat buffet.


Thanks for the birthday wishes, they meant a lot to me. Really. Every writer likes knowing that someone, somewhere's reading them.

Music: I'm tearing at the seams. You on the other hand
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Gio had his annual birthday party this past weekend. His buddy, Ron, rented out this entire club in Times Square with a top-shelf open bar and scantily clad dancers. Wish I brought my camera. Heartgirl met some old friends of mine and brought some of her own.

Two fellas were hitting on her so I took the time to sneak away and stuff my face and watch them try. Ended up talking to an old friend who's taking a break from her boyfriend because after eight years, she's still not a Mrs. but rather a Ms. She's probably one of my most attractive and sweetest friends.


Heartgirl recently saw the Sex in the City film. One of the characters is stood up at her wedding. It's funny - I always wondered who'd try to marry someone that might bail. Figured that it's something one would know beforehand, right?

Gave her a hug as Heartgirl sat down next to me and patted my hand.

I then drank enough rum to kill an elephant and stumbled home at 3, I think. But, as always, woke up without a hangover. Rum's the best.

Was trapped in my apartment into Monday due to the snowstorm.


An eyelash was on my face so she told me to blow it off her finger and make a wish, so I did.

Music: something to keep the chill From freezing our own free will
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Juliet tells Romeo that Capulet is just a name, just a word. She loves a man named Montague but the name is irrelevant to her. He could just as well be named Smith or McCarthy for all she cares. Doesn't change who he is.

Courtesy is all about the polite lie. You don't really think God will bless someone just because they sneeze, do you? Or that if you say Good Morning to someone, they'll actually have a good morning?

The girl in the above conversation's too polite to tell me that I'm her placeholder; her stopgap measure. I'm the guy she kills time with until she meets Mr. Right. Not ideal but I'm not one to cry into my porridge. Sides, anything's better than the lukewarm.

So I smile, nod and say, Sure - look there're worse people to spend a rainy night with than each other.

And she nods and says, OK.

So you take a breath breath. Stuff alla that doubt into that little pocket you keep for just such a night. Get dressed cause you never turn down an invitation.

And try to keep that doubt at bay. Don't think of green eyes or blues eyes. Cause you're a brick wall. Y'gotta be. And everything, for better or for worse, makes sense again. Shut the door behind you. Breathe in that fall night air and think:


Music: I just don't belong here
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Still gotta do my laundry at Rain's for a buncha reasons too stupid to get into now. If you liked 72nd to Canal, he's since moved on to other things. Check out this video and vote for him here.


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My fourth of July was wet. Was on a friend's rooftop with a bunch of people. Umbrellas all around.

Stood next to this blonde from Florida who was sure that I was younger than her but it turns out I'm eight years older. We exchanged numbers but don't think I'm gonna ring her.

Got enough people and things on my mind as it is. Didn't get to see any of the people I really wanted to see; which sounds about right.

The rest of the weekend was a blur. Tell you more but pictures are worth a thousand words.

Ergo, here're 3,000 more words:




Music: wait in driving rain For the bus that never came
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Since I lost my phone, I ran through all my old messages.

I'm sorry I couldn't come...
Mr. Logan, this is...

The last one stopped me cold.

In response to the person that sent me an email a while back, the answer is: 24 hours. Sometimes less than that. Sometimes it just takes one screwup to go from being someone that calls and says Hey it's me, to being a complete stranger.

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Yesterday, was out in Brooklyn grabbing some court papers. Not fun. Sheridan had a dinner to attend and the hostess wrote to him, "Make sure you invite Logan Lowe!" He laughed and said I had to come. It was another catered affair with wealthy lawyers, entertainment people and artists.

The hostess was trying to set up Sheridan with people. She said that she would say, That's a lovely dress/outfit, to indicate that the lady was available. Clever. People said she fixed up Kevin Klein and Phoebe Cates. Who knows?

A French waitress I briefly dated was there completely by random. Literally, completely unexpected. She told me to call her; told her I would.

Bounced early with this clothing manufacturer because Sheridan got us into the Hamptons party in midtown. It was thrown by the same guys that threw this and this. Open bar, beautiful people, the usual song and dance. Walking around, bump into the French waitress again! Call me; I will.

John Leguizamo was the guest of honor - and the host mispronounced his name, which clearly pissed him off. Had a lot on my mind, and rum in my system, so I really wasn't into it. Sheridan and hopped before midnight. Walking up 10th Avenue, I rang someone.



Music: I am not an ill-willed person I do not wish bad things for you
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----------

It's snowing when I exit the pad for the Rainbow Room. I'm wearing my black tux with a black tee-shirt and pretty much arrive drenched.

Sheridan and I run into our buddy RE Mike, who's still cuttin' deals at the party. James Lipton, Richard Kind, David Zaikin, Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin are there - all're pretty nice folk. The food's killer and some chick from American Idol belts out soul. I also meet this woman who says she fixes people up like Phoebe Cates and Kevin Kline.


Midway through the party, I lose Syd's lens cap so I spend a good hour looking for it. Giving up, I hang out with the girl from Wednesday's post.

I'm heading out when a waiter says, I saw you looking on the ground. Were you looking for this? He pulls out Syd's cap. I break out into a smile, shake his hand, and take a pic of him. All-in-all, onea my better Tuesdays.

This week, Sheridan's at the Brasserie, Paul's in China, Gio's in Columbia. Me? I'm the only person beside the nightwatch in a frozen, upstate hotel. Dinner's a protein bar and some rum.

Some days, you get scantily clad dancers, Ford models, and Beluga caviar on a cracker.

Some days, you just get the cracker.


Music: I am damaged at best Like you've already figured out
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We both know my life is full of suck. But lately I've been getting some win. Weekday win is the best.

----------

Friday night, Paul and I meet a pretty brown-eyed girl who says she's Asian but doesn't look anything 'cept Irish and offers to buy us a drink. We also meet a group of 22 year olds (course) who ask if I talk to God. I do.

Saturday, I'm on the wrong side of 10PM when I get dressed. No plans but I live in NYC, dammit. There's always something, right? Who wants in? I'm game, Gio says, and we're off.

We bump into Burn, who says she's happy to see me. I tell her I missed her and don't lie. She says the same and kisses my cheek.

Sunday, the cobwebs fade a bit when Sheridan and I grab brunch round the way. He's buying another building in Chelsea and asks if I want a piece. I laugh and fill him in.


I tell him I always look good and he laughs. We go and have the best time. I walk up to a girl and say, My friend's occupied and so's yours, let's keep each other company and make 'em jealous, yeah? She laughs and I take her by the hand.

She's beautiful and, it turns out, married. But we all know my head's not in the game. I tell her she's a good dancer and that it was nice meeting her. She was. It was. I also give her a hug and tell her my name. Then I'm gone.


Just got in - I'll tell you the rest tomorrow, maybe, yeah?

Music: everything you want, Honey, we know the names
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I worked the weekend but met up with some friends and the two girls I met from Boston, Anna and W. I usually ask people to draw a picture of themselves if they give me their number - those're their drawings from when we met. They were actually some of the last pics I ever got; I decided a while ago to stop asking for numbers and instead just give out mine. I figure if someone wants chat to with me, they will.

But I digress. It was nice to see them again.


Speaking of random meetings, on Saturday, I went to my first 2007 holiday party in Harlem. At 3AM, a bunch of us decided to call it a night and we walked over to the subway. But it was closed. So we hoofed it a half-mile downtown to the next station. I didn't know any of them when the night started but there we were dashing down 5th Avenue at an ungodly hour.

Something to remember when I'm an old man.


I had a nice weekend. And yet here we are.

Music: Lord listen lover you're all missing something I don't got
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Today I spent most of the day in court. That's bad enough but my mind's also really cloudy cause the insomnia's back. It made a bad situation worse.

I think I might post less because I'm worried I'm gonna start sounding insane. I'm writing constantly.

I couldn't sleep at all the other night so I got up and made chili - here's the recipe with pics if you're interested.

Most nights, I'm just walking about town. The thing about my neighborhood is that there's always something to see. There's always something for the singular.

Maybe I'll fall asleep and have nice dreams tonight. That would be great.

That would be so _______ great.

Music: these words are my diary, screaming out loud
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----------

I wish I had something cool to tell you but I spent the day in an office. So...no. I've got nothing to report.

OK, I did drink my night away with Cain and a new friend, who's a litigator and my favorite waitress in the world (yes Nadi, the actress frau). I was too hammered to tell them this joke but I've sobered up somewhat so here goes:

Had a lot on my mind this weekend so my friends dragged me out. It was a hella weird weekend.

Paul and I went to a total of five parties, all of which were vastly different than expected. I really needed a distraction. So Paul paid $10 to have me go onto a mechanical bull. Quick but fun.

Did I ever tell you that Berlingirl was here studying dance?

Here's the thing: in the last party of the night, for the grey-eyed girl, I met yet another German girl studying dance here in the big city except she was from Köln.

What're the chances?

I spent the rest of the night chatting with her and the grey-eyed girl until 3AM or so. And then we were gone.

I can't tell you how many times these days that I daydream of running away somewhere.

Then the 2 train comes and brings me someplace I don't really wanna be but gotta.

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I'm at my parents place and my dad is singing to himself. It's midnight. How cute is that?

Music: Digging deep for clues on higher ground
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Last Friday, Cain and I went to Gshok's housewarming. I was feeling a bit down and didn't want to go but I'm glad I did. It was nice to not think about my worries. The Laura was supposed to come but she got into a car accident on the way there (she's ok).

We played a rousing game of Taboo; we were tied when Gshok and I did a sudden-death round and my team won. My prize was what you see above.

Saturday, Paul and I made the Lower East Side drinking circuit. Crashed a birthday party, ate some cake (we didn't wanna but the birthday girl insisted), and hit about five joints before calling it a night.

At 2AM, I bumped into this girl on the street and offered to keep her company on the long walk home, She smiled and said, OK so we walked and chatted for a bit. After we got where we needed to be, she said, Thanks for keeping me safe.

How did you know I'd keep you safe? I asked.

I could tell, she said and then she gave me a hug goodbye. Another good deed.

Sunday, I woke up just in time for a date with a pretty green-eyed school teacher I had been orbiting, but more on that later. Went to church and tried to make sense of everything.

It's Monday. I don't like Mondays.

Music: mother feels so shocked Father’s world is rocked
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I met a singer named Pamela Luss a while back and we kept in touch. I always missed her singing engagements so I told her that her next one, I would absolutely make it.

And tonight I did. She was great.

Bebe Neuwirth came to hear her sing for the first set, which I missed, of course, but it's just as well.

On the way there, Cain and I managed to catch an old man as he slipped on some gravel so I felt I did my good deed of the day.

That's why NYC's so cool - you just never know how your night's gonna end up. I've lived here my whole life and I'm still surprised by it all.

Music: Maybe it was the music, or the glamorous sky of blue
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Music: That pretty red dress
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I crashed this party with some friends including an old friend, Buckley, whom I've known for 14 years. He's a decent fellow. The problem's that he's 36 and he still thinks that drinking to excess is somehow cool.

I crash a lotta parties cause I get along with everyone. But Buckley was a slobbering, augmentative drunk. Before I knew it, he was being tossed out by this group of guys at the behest of the birthday girl. It was a whole production with me having to get between them all.

Ugh.

Eventually, we got him into a cab and I walked back with Hazel and Kane to apologize to the birthday girl. I should mention now that the birthday girl has a pretty face.

Here's the thing. It's NYC. You can't go two feet without running into a girl with a pretty face. They're like a dime-a-dozen. I'm pretty calloused to girls with pretty faces. But as I'm apologizing to her, she's apologizing back to me. She said, I'm sorry I was being so douchey.

Douchey. Love it.

This whole time, everyone is staring at our exchange because I think they all expected some beef. Instead, she and I are smiling and laughing, like we're old friends. She said I came off as good guy and I told her that I thought she was just really all that.

As we're talking, she went from being a pretty face to a pretty girl. There's a very big difference between the two. Like the difference between gold paint and gold.

She invited us to come back in but I told her that we came back purely to apologize. We chatted a bit more before I gave her a hug that she returned. If things were different, I might have given her my number. Then again, the poor girl's been through enough.

It's not all the time that people's insides match their outsides. No 6 said mine don't.

It's nice to meet someone whose stuff did.

Music: we throw parties, you throw knives
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I saw Berlingirl again the other day:


Life is long and the world is small. I'm sure I'll see her again.

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Almost a year ago, I wrote this. After I walked the girl to where she was staying, I ducked into the 24 grocery on Broadway. That same manager saw me and gave me a big smile.

Music: she knows I know what she's thinking
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Busy week. My rule to never say no to an invite came back to bite me last week. I was out every night after returning from Baltimore. Both my liver and my wallet hate me.

I saw a curly-haired girl from NYC, a grey-eyed blond from down south, and a brunette dancer from Berlin. That last one I briefly thought was anf322, who was visiting, which is how we met.

All are attractive but one is painfully so and not just physically.

For the first time in months, I find myself thinking about one particular girl. I'm trying not to dwell on it her too much, but it's not easy.

Still, Fall's my favourite season and I was alone(ish) last time around. Some company this year would be nice. Not absolutely necessary but nice.

Hey, when does your year start? Does it start in January like most people? Or on your birthday?

Or September? Mine starts in September. Probably cause I was a student for so long.

And when you're a fat, clumsy, geek, no one calls you to come out to play over summers. Plus camp's for people with spare scratch.

For kids like me, summer's just three months of solitude.

I can't hardly wait for Fall to come.

Seriously, bring it, bring it, bring it...

Music: One eye on the winter Oh there’s just a hint of soviet snow
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