Tuesday, June 26th, 2007

My biggest fan / My definition

Thanks for all the comments to my last post - I found them really interesting. It's nice because I never know who reads this.

I meant to post this a while ago but I thought it was too long. It's my definition:

When I was 15, my best friend, Kevin, told me that my girl Diana cheated on me. We never spoke, I just shut her out. Stupid kid stuff.

Maybe a decade later, I drove by her home and, for some reason, I rang her doorbell. I expected her to slap me when she answered the door; instead, she let me in, gave me a smile and an apron. She had this huge bar of chocolate that she told me to chop for cookies.

So I went in and started chopping.

After a bit, I asked her, half-jokingly, what happened between us.

She stopped and answered:

You listened to Kevin but we both know that he was the first guy to ask me out after we broke up. So that makes you an idiot. I never cheated on you, you know that. I was your biggest fan. That makes me an idiot. You never stood up for me and I didn't understand why, because I was kind to you. I was on your side but you weren't on mine.

Why weren't you?


I had no answer. Almost twenty years after the fact, I still have no answer. I don't remember anything else but I remember what she said.

That conversation started me off in being who I am now. In fact, I learned the phrases biggest fan and on your side that day.

It's why I'm always loyal.

You see, she doesn't know, but I still wonder if No. 7 ever found that job under the California sun; I wanna call her office someday and hear that message that says she's left the company she hates.

And I still wonder if Diana bought that ranch in Colorado that she dreamt of and has kids to help her make cookies. I wouldn't know, though.

I never saw her again.

But I hope she got it all.

As for me, I'm waiting for someone to be on my side again.

Music: But until then I'll do just fine on my own
www.loganlo.com
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Thursday, June 21st, 2007

Semper Fidelis



With nods to turtle5485, who's waiting, and to continue from yesterday.

There's this movie people either love or hate: Bride with White Hair. In it, the protagonist jokingly promised his chick that he would get her a flower one day that only bloomed once every twenty years on a snow-capped mountaintop.

Later in the story, he betrays her.

To make amends, he sits in the snow, alone, in front of this plant for ten years, waiting for it to bloom. For her. Fool boy.

A friend recently gave me a drunken compliment:
Logan's got his issues but he's f___ing loyal. If I was locked up in a cell in Panama and I had one call, he'd be it.
High praise.

See, anything bad that could happen starts with disloyalty, yeah?

Cheating, lying, stealing, it all starts from there. You can't get there without being disloyal first.

The goods? Love, respect, trust - you can't get there without being loyal first.

That's why I've never cheated on anyone. It's also why I never speak ill of anyone after we break up. At it's most basic, it's disloyal.

Unless the reason we broke up comes from disloyalty. Then, screw it

Yeah, I got my faults. I got a whole blog of faults. But what he said made my drunken night.

Cause the people that know me, they know I'd sit on a mountain top and wait. It might be a mountain of brick and mortar, but there I'd be.

Cause they know that I'm on their side.

Fool boy, me. I'd sit. I'd wait.

For my family, a good friend or a chick I loved,

I'd never move.

Music: on this mountain thinking to myself You're a fool boy
www.loganlo.com
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