We talked shop and it was like talking to an adult after being surrounded by kids all day. Like Sheridan and somea the others, he believes in me more than I do, I think.

Man, I gotta get outta what I'm doing and back into my old life.

On the way there, heard an old Chinese lady yelling over and over again, "CHINATOWN!" on 37th and Lex. She reminded me of my grandma. So I went over and told her in my crappy Chinese that I'd get her there. She was visiting an old friend in a hospital nearby and got lost. Took her arm, walked her to the right stop, and waited for the bus with her.

Hopped off the bus and made it over to the Shelburne. Afterwards, walked from there to Columbus Circle, just cause I can't sleep anyway. Thought about my mom - if she got lost, I'd hope someone'd help her get home.

Speaking of home, Heartgirl's on a plane back as I write this. Was only two weeks but I missed her terribly.

Music: get your plane ride on time I know your part'll go fine
YASYCTAI: Help someone old. Cause you'd want someone to do it for your ma. (20 mins/1 pts)
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Meet a pretty German girl Monday night on the way home. Woulda asked for her info but, as I said, I'm distracted. Naja, I say, angenehm...tschüss.

Get home, shower and run out the door to meet up with LisaV. We're supposed to go to a church function but she can't get outta work so we meet up at Mooncake Diner. It's packed so we bounce to Excellent Pork Chop House for take out and head back to her place where her roommate's painting. We inhale it all over conversation and a glass table. Surprisingly, it's actually excellent.

Head out to meet up with an old friend but we can't coordinate so I swing by Rain's for some scotch. A photoshoot's going on with some models so I take a few pics of them and his new canine friend before taking the long walk home.

Tuesday? Tuesday was a whole 'nother story.





Music: And now I'm never gonna get to sleep
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Stayed in on Friday; just tired and irritated. Saturday morning, saw PCD for brunch. We ended up cooking and I made a frittata. Since she was a pro, I was flattered that she thought it was good. Went off to class and got a beatdown. I'm quite literally COVERED with bruises (do not click if squeamish). Should take up yoga. Or at least something that doesn't involve people stabbing, slashing, kicking, choking, strangling and punching me. Yes. Yoga.

Spoke to Heartgirl afterward. She confided in me something and I was a bit touched. We're more alike than she knows.

Saturday, LisaV invites me to a house party downtown. It's a literal and figurative sweatbox. An hour in, a girl grabs me and sticks a huge bottle of tequila down my throat and, later, kisses me on the cheek - of course she's 22. Before I leave, another girl leans in and kisses me too. Huh. Must be the tequila. Close out the night with this cool blonde that boxes and threw me a nasty uppercut. Impressive.


At 2:00, walk LisaV home across the LES. Woulda been terribly romantic if she wasn't seeing someone and I wasn't...so damn distracted.



Music: Once again I found myself with my friends
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Get a surprising message on Friday from someone I was dating. We opted to be friends and she calls to tell me something I really don't wanna know. So, I'm disappointed in her. Then again, she called cause she needed a friend and I wasn't the friend I shoulda been.

So, I'm disappointed in me.

Go out for the usual fun and games for Friday. Some girl keeps grabbing my butt so I bounce early. Saturday, wrestled. That's a whole entry on it's own. Then I go to my cousin's wedding. Could do without everyone asking me when I'm getting married.

Orbit around Heartgirl all weekend; more misunderstandings between us. We're supposed to meet up but something comes up so she bails. Thing is, I'm slightly glad we didn't meet up cause who she is in my head might not be who she is at all.

Then again, I'm not the man they think I am at home.


That's WM the night before. Heartgirl wanted to watch the Eurocup so I arranged it for a friend of mine to show it at her bar. Since Heartgirl didn't come, WM came and we caught the game. And talked about our many regrets.

Paul, WM and I're great at parties. Cause the people that're really great at parties are the ones that just wanna forget the awful things.


Music: I think it's gonna be a long, long time
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Friday, meet up with WM and Paolo for a party at Duvet. Not my scene. We bounce and meet up with Elle and company for some rum and beer at Reservoir. Meet a girlie who thinks I look too young. I tell her I'm not.

On the subway going up, I bump into three lovely young German women, smile and say, Hallo, habe ich ein Witz fuer euch - ein Typ...usw, usw, usw...

Saturday, see the girl that I thought was the Ship in the Night Girl who says the above. We chat from midnight to four again before I put her in a cab and take the long walk home, just for old times sake. Walking home I think of something: this girl has green eyes. The SING had green eyes. I think. You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue.

Sunday, meet up with Rain downtown to do a month's worth of laundry. He makes me stand on a plank of wood he's cutting with a powersaw as my whites hit the rinse cycle. Later that night, attend Cappy's wedding an upscale midtown Greek restaurant. I see friends I've not seen in 15 years. They ask me how I am and I lie and say I'm fine.

Outside, take a picture of the attractive hostess who looks up at the sky and tell her that I won't take her number but I'll give her mine. She smiles and says that very gentlemanly. It's my turn to laugh as I hand her my card. Of course, she's 21, but not, however, a pescatarian.

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I'm on the wrong side of 6AM when I stick my key in my door and turn to unlock it. I'm wondering what happened this weekend.

Half-an-hour earlier, I'm walking alone in the snow to the West Side Highway to catch a cab home.

An hour earlier, I'm in Guest House with Gio and Paul both gaming the same hottie. Drama. I'm too old for drama. As usual Gio floated us in and gets us a table with a bottle of vodka. Not my poison but it's comped so I take it. I chat up a group of lovely Irish actresses and girl from Kentucky that's a great dancer.

Two hours earlier, I'm in Sway being told by a girlie from Holland that I should meet her again in the hidden club at the Village. Nah.

Four hours earlier, I'm with "Clara" celebrating her birthday at Sugar. I tell her to text all my friends: Logan's all up in my grill - where are you guys? thinking they'll come save her. Nope.

Six hours earlier, I run into an old ghost from my club days. I tell him I'm a Christian and don't run hustle or sweatboxes any more. I don't think he believed me. He woulda never have believed I got grifted.

Seven hours earlier, I'm speaking crappy German and Chinese to Benlbr at The Back Room where John McEnroe slipped past me. Ben and I are on our own tight schedules but it's good to meet up.

Eight hours earlier, I'm stepping into Bar 151 with Paul to see Kung, the Grey-Eyed Girl and Randi. Two girls smile at me but I demur to saying hello. I'm on a schedule.

I'm on the wrong side of 9PM when I stick my key in my door and turn to lock it. I'm wondering what'll happen this weekend.

Music: Searching for something to say; Waiting for the break of day
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Click the music link because you can download the song for free. You'll thank me later.

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I'm in Cornell right now; was working in the library until just before. Spent the day running about causa work. I followed my GPS to get here so it took me on a road I never took before. I was disappointed because I didn't see it rise up like it always does.

I ate in the food hall and felt very, very old. Then I took a long walk to the main campus. The campus was pretty much completely empty because it was late and hella cold. It was weird because I was always out by myself late at night because of the insomnia so, on the one hand, it looked like it always did to me; on the other - they built this monstrosity in the middle of my campus.

Guess, you can't go home again. More to tell but I'm sorting.

I really I don't think I'm seeing the green-eyed Italian lawyer until March and I completely randomly thought of the curly-haired girl today because she went to school near here. But I'm seeing L tonight for dinner if I can make it back in time. I've not seen her in months either.

My timing's never right but the Venn Diagrams I draw make up for it somewhat.


Music: I feel like I just got home and I feel like...I'm home
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Last Friday, Cain and I went to Gshok's housewarming. I was feeling a bit down and didn't want to go but I'm glad I did. It was nice to not think about my worries. The Laura was supposed to come but she got into a car accident on the way there (she's ok).

We played a rousing game of Taboo; we were tied when Gshok and I did a sudden-death round and my team won. My prize was what you see above.

Saturday, Paul and I made the Lower East Side drinking circuit. Crashed a birthday party, ate some cake (we didn't wanna but the birthday girl insisted), and hit about five joints before calling it a night.

At 2AM, I bumped into this girl on the street and offered to keep her company on the long walk home, She smiled and said, OK so we walked and chatted for a bit. After we got where we needed to be, she said, Thanks for keeping me safe.

How did you know I'd keep you safe? I asked.

I could tell, she said and then she gave me a hug goodbye. Another good deed.

Sunday, I woke up just in time for a date with a pretty green-eyed school teacher I had been orbiting, but more on that later. Went to church and tried to make sense of everything.

It's Monday. I don't like Mondays.

Music: mother feels so shocked Father’s world is rocked
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12:04:22 AM

3:44:48 AM

My insomnia is maddening but this means I can tell you a quick story (one of two for this night):

I was walking home late tonight and pulled my jacket around me because I was cold. A young woman smiled as she brushed past me and I smiled back. She tripped and fell down, embarrassed, and her heart fell out from her jacket.

I saw it fall so I leaned over and picked it up and called out to her but the wind drowned me out. She had already crossed the street. After the light changed, I ran after her but she disappeared.

So I stood there in middle of 14th Street and 3rd Avenue holding onto something that didn't belong to me. I decided to put it in my pocket in case I ran into someone missing a heart in the big city.

As always, I took the long walk home. For some reason, I wasn't as cold.

3:49:41 AM
Music: My heart was broke, my head was sore, what a feeling
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