Monday, May 7th, 2007

Rough hewing

12:02:42 AM


I saw BJE last week. I waited to write because I wanted to see how it panned out. No change, unfortunately.

She asked me the most peculiar thing once, she asked if I said unkind things about her afterwards. I asked her why I would. If you've read this blog long enough, you know I'm tired of being the bad guy.

I had dinner Saturday with some friends and strangers including a Candy Fiend from Texas:

Her: I read your blog, you know.
Me: Really? I'm always surprised...
Her: Are you depressed?

Is that how I come across?

Looking back at my entries, I think that, more than anything, I'm dorky hopeful.

Yes, I have my miniature disasters and minor catastrophes, (see supra) but my last tiny calamity brought about this blog, friendship with rum, a better idea of what I want/don't want in life, 72 to Canal, a dozen new satellites, and a few memorable, if short-lived, romances.

A fair trade, no?

I updated my About section to reflect my new age but everything else is still true.

I'm still hopeful. I'm still rough-hewing.

It's good that some things never change.


12:52:22 AM
Music: don't want to be second best Don't want to stand in line
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Sunday, March 4th, 2007

If only

10:19:23 PM


Her: I love you.
Me: Ah, if only you did.

Well, that all went to hell.

But to quote a close friend:
It's better to be the star of your own movie than have a cameo in someone else's.

I did that the last time around.

This time, no matter how much I wish it weren't so, I decided that I'd rather be by myself than play a cameo ever again.

I know I'm not perfect
(trust me, I've checked)
but I'm good enough to be
nobody's damned,
wait-and-see.

Once a lifetime,
no matter how I feel,
once a lifetime,
it's enough for me.

Sigh. Those blue eyes though...

11:55:34 PM
Music: I wish that I, that I could stay
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