In three years, never really discussed politics. Having said that, always considered myself a moderate conservative. Believe in small government, free markets, few social programs, meritocracies, etc.

This judge once wrote of the Chinese, "[t]heir dissimilarity in physical characteristics, in language, manners, and religions...prevent the possibility of their assimilation with our people." He hoped that "some way may be devised to prevent their further immigration."

Here's the thing though, he wrote that while striking down this law called the Pigtail Ordinance.

Why? Not cause he liked the Chinese, he hated us, but cause the law itself was unconstitutional.

It was a law that was innocent on it's face - if you went to jail you hadta get your hair cut - but clearly it was an end runaround meant to harass the Chinese and their queues. Even the authors of the bill acknowledged this.

So the judge struck it down. Cause, as much as he hated the Chinese, he respected the law. And a law that singled out one group of people - and he grudgingly admitted we were people - was unconstitutional. And thus, he had to strike it down, making him seriously unpopular in Cali.

This health care issue troubles me. The whole tenor of it bugs me. Cause people don't seem to want a fair fight.

The judge's view was this, "Despite my personal feeling, my personal hatred, I'll put that aside to do what's right for the country. If we're right - that Chinese're second class people - then we don't gotta break the law to prove it."

Course, he was wrong on that point but that's neither here nor there.

Look, if y'really have a strong point, use that. Don't make up things like death panels and resort to things like heckling.

Don't people, liberals/conservatives, just get tired of just making crap up to win? Like the idiots that genuinely think 9/11 was by the Bush administration or a Jewish cabal.

It's sad when you have to point to a racist and say, "Even this $@#$@ guy..."

It's a sad state of affairs, is what I'm trying to say.

Music: I'll soon be back again That's what I said in China
YASYCTAI: Do you know any other stories of someone that you wouldn't expect to fight fairly, but did? Find it so interesting, when people don't act like you'd expect. (20 mins/1 pt)
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My phone's been ringing again. Nuthin steady, nuthin huge, a trickle, really. But it's something. And after months of nuthin, something's good.

It's a bit odd, to be busy again with things for pure monetary exchange. The humdrum of work again.

But it's a good thing; the cadence of waking up, making coffee - for two oftentimes - PB&J or oatmeal, Good Morning America, and then...work?

Well, it's hardly work yet. But it's something.

Always said that my year begins in September. The rhythm of regularity. Am looking forward to it now more than in years.

S'weird, to be excited for the coming monotony.

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September 11th again. Has it been eight years already?

Someone told me that I dwell too much on it considering I wasn't "affected."

Didn't know what to say, so I changed the subject. How can one explain what it's like?

Music: Got me affected, spun me 1-80 degrees
YASYCTAI: none, really (0 mins/0 pts)
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Got a call from Rain earlier to get together today. Made me think. What I wrote last year still rings true.

Y’know, there was a TKTS booth in the World Trade Center. Was 17 when I first went there to pick up tix for me and my girlie. Les Mis.

There was an escalator going up to the booths and the lines would sometimes snake around the floor as people waited for their tickets. Had a red Aiwa cassette tape player to keep me company while I waited. Two tapes and a cassette player – way before Ipods, kiddies.

The people in those buildings were ordinary people like you and me. It’s why when Chrissie Hynde said, We (expletive) deserve to get bombed. Bring it on, I hope the Muslims win, I got sick.

Cause, it could easily have been me. Or even her. Or some 17 year-old kid buying a ticket for his girlie. Someone coulda called me, or my brother, or my kid sister, and said, Hey, let’s get together downtown. That’s exactly what happened to my buddy Bryson. Luckily, he always runs late. My high school classmate wasn’t so lucky. Those sons of motherless bitches murdered him a few weeks before his wedding. Disintegrated rather. Nuthin's left of him. Nuthin. Poof.

I hope they lose. Cause otherwise, fools like Chrissie can't speak her mind. Even fools like her deserve the right to speak our minds, no matter how stupid. No matter how obscene.

Cause obscenities are fought with words not 747s filled with people - even if they're just simple words from a clown. Or a heartbroken 30-something C+ class womanizer.

Goddamn. They punched a hole in my pretty city.

They punched a hole in my home that's still there.

Music: A long, long time ago. I can still remember
YASYCTAI: Watch the video above (9 mins/1 pt)
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So, I had a heartbreaking day today.

It rained, which was perfectly apropos.

I wasn't planning on writing anything - every two-bit hack with a computer writes something about the day and I didn't wanna be another one.

But here I am. Makes sense; I am a two-bit hack with a computer.

I've lived here my whole life. I had one of my first elementary school class trips to see those buildings. I remember I was scared to look up at them because I thought they might fall on me.

After college I worked on the 2nd Floor. Wheelock NatWest. Then again about a decade ago. Mancini Duffy. My brother worked there once.

My sister went to school in their shadow.

They were always there.

That's why when you lose someone close to you, it's so heartbreaking. It's because they're always there. And then one day, poof. They're gone.

The scene I remember most is that of strangers gathered around cars, the city quiet, save for the radios.

Can you see it?

Cars stopped along Broadway with their radios on full blast for strangers? No music, no commercials, just the news. Everyone quiet and craning their neck so they could hear the latest bit of misery.

I believed in evil again that day. I believe in it now. I remember thinking of that line from American Pie that goes, I saw satan laughing with delight, the day the music died.

I'm not a good enough writer to put into words how I felt then or feel now. So I'll just say that I had a heartbreaking day today.

It rained, which was perfectly apropos.

Music: and there we were all in one place
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Rather than discuss the obvious, I'd like to wish Caffeineguy a very happy birthday and note that I'm flying today.

I've flown for at least three 9/11s since that day.

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Ever miss a flight?

I almost missed mine this morning. I'm always almost missing flights. Not because I'm late; today I arrived with almost two hours to spare.

No, I was daydreaming again.

I heard my name on the loudspeaker a coupla times before it fully registered. I rose, grabbed my bag and ran the 30 feet to the gate. The pretty girl at the gate laughed because she said she noticed me staring out at the planes the whole time but assumed I was waiting for the next flight.

Go, go, go, she said.

I threw her a wink and a smile as I went, went, went.

Right now I'm in another nondescript upstate hotel room by myself listening to sad songs with only you, Tupac and the light from my screen for company. I'm remembering things and people I don't wanna remember but I can't forget.

And still I rise...

Music: Please give me to the sky
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11:30:10 PM

I had a bit of a mind warp today. Today the Yankee's pitcher Cory Lidle slammed a plane into the side of a building in the Upper East Side. I remembered all of 9/11 again. I still can't believe it was five years ago. Today was 10/11 so it was freaky. Poor guy just wanted to fly.

I can relate.

Rain doesn't have a TV so he called me for details. I also called my family - I don't know, just because...

I'm always surprised at how I'm still surprised by anything anymore.

11:57:36 PM
Music: Pretty eyes, pirate smiles, she'll marry a music man
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