logan607 ([info]logan607) wrote,
@ 2008-08-04 00:03:00
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Current location:in front of a glass of rum
Current mood: sigh
Entry tags:blue sky, dialogue, discussion, family, flying, goodbye, single life, traveling

Waiting for the Right Scene / Hardest way to Travel


PCD: (turning to me) That's not true, I haven't kissed anyone else in a long time.
Me: Really? How long?
Her: A whole week.
Me: (quizzical look)
Her: (turning back to TV) When you stop kissing other people so will I.

My friend Joanne said once that dating past your 30s is like that board game Scene It. In the first part of the game, if you get something wrong, there's no penalty. In the second part, you're penalized for each wrong answer. She said that dating up to 30 is like the first part and dating past your 30s is like the second part.

Spoke to Heartgirl recently. Like HEI, she's become what I'd consider a close friend. Well, as close a friend as I guy like me has. She thinks I'm going about this wrong, the random dating and whatnot. But I've done the serial monogamy thing for 16 years. It doesn't work for me.

Without a hint of arrogance, I believe that whomever ends up with me is a lucky girlie. Cause I'm whip-smart. Given lead time to prep and the right jeans, I'm easy on the eyes. Have fairly good manners. Can cook.

Most of all, though, I'm loyal. For that girl, I can say, I'm yours. I've gotten it outta my system. 130+ dates later, I'm good to go. I choose you.

And yeah, I'm old, weird, clumsy, nerdy, insominatic - the list goes on. No lie, whenever there's money left over for rum after a mortgage payment, it's like Christmas morning.

But I know what I bring to the table. SX once asked me what entertainment I'd provide and responded, "I am the entertainment."

One should know one's value. Cause if your cup of self worth is only half full, why would anyone else see any more than that, y'know?

In other news, the woman I love the most in the world is on a plane to bury the woman she loves most in the world.

There's no harder way to travel than with a broken heart. It takes 22 hours to get from here to there. That's a long time to spend with your thoughts. If I could take that cross from her, I would.


Music: Got no place to go but there's a girl waiting for me
www.loganlo.com
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(19 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]girlsgirlsgirls
2008-08-04 04:51 am UTC (link)
the heaviest carry-on, indeed

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[info]logan607
2008-08-04 02:46 pm UTC (link)
There's no place to check in that crap either.

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[info]girlsgirlsgirls
2008-08-04 05:21 pm UTC (link)
man, today I got a pre-emptive shoot-down from someone entirely unlikely that I was of course entirely too hopeful about.

maybe I learned of a new type I like

but being so easy to fall is such a drag sometimes. most of the time. actually pretty much always.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]malore_elentari
2008-08-04 06:06 am UTC (link)
People leaving us is never easy.

Regarding your first part of the post--or rather, middle-esque: there is hope.
I met my man after we'd both done the serial monogamy thing AND the random dating for a while.
He is 32 (I'm 10 years younger). We've been together for 10 months, we moved in together last week and it's only a matter of time before we get married. He is "old, weird, clumsy, nerdy, insominatic" as well as whip-smart and very easy on the eyes. Oh, and he can cook. Above all he's loyal. He will always be mine as I will always be his.

We found each other.
You'll find yours.

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[info]logan607
2008-08-04 02:47 pm UTC (link)
I hope you two make it. Then send me some luck, please?

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[info]seemoore
2008-08-04 06:51 am UTC (link)
Two very prominent pieces of wisdom in this. I've travelled with the same broken heart, although in my case I couldn't even make the pilgrimage to the funeral. My thoughts are with you and your family.

And, one *should* know one's value. I'm still figuring that one out. How do you go about the figuring?

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[info]logan607
2008-08-04 02:48 pm UTC (link)
I think it comes down to being more self-aware. Not beating yourself too much for the bad parts of yourself and not praising too much of the good parts.

It easy to veer wildly off-course in either direction.

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Mourners Kaddish
[info]sleeplessdallas
2008-08-04 07:16 am UTC (link)
"For that girl, I can say, I'm yours. I've gotten it outta my system. 130+ dates later, I'm good to go. I choose you."
I cannot begin to tell you how many problems I have with that sentence :)

On your last post I still have a tab open, because I just want to say something, but cannot find the right words. I guess, if it makes a difference, just know that there is some gal in Dallas, thinking of you and your family, hoping that their hearts would not be heavy with dread, and their eyes will not moisten with sadness, but instead with smile with good memories.

In Jewish religion when someone dies, usually a men, goes to synagogue and says this prayer everyday, for a year, hoping that God will hear him and let the family member in a good place.
I like this prayer so here you go

Glorified and sanctified be God's great name throughout the world which He has created according to His will. May He establish His kingdom in your lifetime and during your days, and within the life of the entire House of Israel, speedily and soon; and say, Amen.

May His great name be blessed forever and to all eternity.

Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, extolled and honored, adored and lauded be the name of the Holy One, blessed be He, beyond all the blessings and hymns, praises and consolations that are ever spoken in the world; and say, Amen.

May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us
and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

He who creates peace in His celestial heights, may He create peace for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

(Reply to this) (Thread)
Re: Mourners Kaddish
[info]logan607
2008-08-04 02:49 pm UTC (link)
I read that prayer out loud this morning before I left for work.

Thanks, Lana.

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[info]daiseefut
2008-08-04 07:57 am UTC (link)
I like how your self confidence comes across as confidence, not arrogance. At least that's how I see it.

My thoughts are with you and your family at this time. I've had the same experience when my grandma passed away a few years ago and lots of regrets as well.

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[info]logan607
2008-08-04 02:50 pm UTC (link)
I'm glad that's how I come across - I'm hoping others fee the same way too.

Thanks for your thoughts, I take them gladly.

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[info]rianessa
2008-08-04 08:02 am UTC (link)
Maybe when you least expect it or when you're not looking during one of your busy weekends she'll be right there. In any case you seem ready. I hope she's just right around the corner and when you're not looking she'll be right there. I met D when I wasn't looking. He was 32 and I was 23. I didn't think anything of it because of the age difference and the distance. 52 months later, it's still D and I. He's mellow, quiet, an artist and too patient. I'm a workaholic, indecisive, insomiac, and OCD Somewhere in the middle of all that, we make it work. I'm sure you'll meet her soon.... when you least expect it.

Edited at 2008-08-04 08:07 am UTC

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[info]logan607
2008-08-04 02:50 pm UTC (link)
I suppose you're right but I think soon is relative. It's been almost two years since I became single.

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[info]rianessa
2008-08-04 03:36 pm UTC (link)
Give yourself a breather from time to time. Maybe just hang out with yourself around the city? Or is that too dangerous and you'd be thinking about all sorts of things? In any case, I still do hope that it's soon. Btw, 2 years...who's really counting?

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[info]missviva
2008-08-04 08:20 am UTC (link)
Not to be minding your business, but you could share the weight of the cross by helping her carry it. My Grandpa passed away over three years ago, I only spent time with him twice in my and his life, but even thinking of him right now makes me want to cry. In reference to your last entry, just wanted to say I wish I had been to the funeral, it wasn't my choice at the time, but it's a huge regret.

I've been reading you for a while now, and commented a few times as well (you can probably check the IP), but as anonymous because I wasn't using an account. You are a good engaging writer.

Feel better.

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[info]logan607
2008-08-04 02:51 pm UTC (link)
I wish I could have went but it's too late. I think it's happening tomorrow.

I'm going to try and contact my mom more often while she's away and making sure she's holding up. They were so close.

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[info]benlbr
2008-08-04 12:05 pm UTC (link)
"I am the entertainment."

Rather nice twist on "I AM the pick up line!"

It's all about timing. I've done the serial dating thing, and despite some of the BS I had to waddle through, I would have to say that it was worth it, and I would totally do it again.

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[info]logan607
2008-08-04 02:52 pm UTC (link)
I can't lie, some times I really like being a serial dater.

Sometimes though, you just want someone to ring up and say, "Man, you're not gonna believe what just happened..."

You're lucky you got that.

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[info]aranka
2008-08-05 12:28 am UTC (link)
aiya man. Well . . . you already know my thoughts on the dating thing but here's yet another. There are a ton of jackasses out there. And I think you're a great guy but you're not doing a lot to differentiate yourself from them. I myself have heard "I love you" dozens of times and I don't believe even one of those was for real. Now take into account that my dating slate is relatively clean. If I don't believe "I love you" from the sort of men I'm likely to date and believe it even less from guys who date me and six other girls at the same time . . . well you're dating girls older and more experienced than me . . . no matter how much you mean it - and I do actually believe you do - you're not really cutting a believable figure here. So . . . good luck and I hope you're right but I have my doubts. Please prove me wrong.

Best wishes towards your mother. That's a trip . . . I've always feared.

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