logan607 ([info]logan607) wrote,
@ 2008-08-01 13:56:00
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Current location:my office, beat tired
Current mood: beat tired
Entry tags:dialogue, discussion, family, goodbye

Useless / Outta Time



Sorry, those of you that read me know I'm pretty regular about my postings but this week's been...hard. Don't think I had one sober night this week. Heartgirl took me to a fine restaurant, PCD took me out and made me carrot cake, and BEG rang me. They're all such good people. It's funny who contacts you and who doesn't. Slept about four hours a night.

Told you before that A man’s dying is more the survivors’ affair than his own.

I think I'm fairly quick-witted. Rain's faster on the draw but I hold my own. S'what happens when you read as much as a nerd like me. But I dunno what to say to my own mother. Isn't that a kick in the head?

Sucks when you realize a particular talent you have's only good for entertainment purposes.

The irony of this whole thing is that my mom just came back from Taiwan two days before my grandma died. Now she's gotta go back.

Her: I didn't know she was gonna go. (pause) I woulda stayed if I knew.
Me: One of us (kids) should go back with you.
Her: No, it's useless. She's gone. You called her all the time. That meant a lot to her. (pause) You're a good kid.

She doesn't know that I stopped calling her after the theft cause I didn't want her to worry. Stupid. I thought we had time. Goddamit, I thought I had time. No one told me I wouldn't have any time.

Gonna add that to my list of ten thousand regrets.

Gonna need more damn paper.

Music: you wake up in it One fine day
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I think only the chinese speakers will get this.
[info]koreanjohnny
2008-08-01 07:30 pm UTC (link)


Not bad for a boyband. Thinking of you dude.

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Re: I think only the chinese speakers will get this.
[info]logan607
2008-08-04 02:35 pm UTC (link)
While it's not my thing, I do appreciate the sentiment.

Thanks man...

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Re: I think only the chinese speakers will get this.
[info]aranka
2008-08-04 10:48 pm UTC (link)
我得懂中文懂不好，可是我想了。见懂了，我觉得这个歌得好了。 刷刷了。=P

hope I didn't insult someone's mom . . .

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[info]impensada
2008-08-01 08:07 pm UTC (link)
Goddamit, I thought I had time. No one told me I wouldn't have any time.

I sure feel that one.

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[info]logan607
2008-08-04 02:35 pm UTC (link)
I think it's universal. These things happen so fast.

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[info]junco513
2008-08-01 08:55 pm UTC (link)
maybe you don't need to say anything... just being there for her will help.

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[info]logan607
2008-08-04 02:35 pm UTC (link)
Here's hoping you're right.

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[info]sarcasticserum
2008-08-01 09:58 pm UTC (link)
It's interesting - we often value quality over quantity, but when it comes to people we care about, we always want more time regardless of how little or how much we had. I'm sure she knows you love her through the time you've spent together in person or on the phone. Even though you stopped calling, it was with the good intention of not wanting her to worry so don't beat yourself up about it (too much, since you're already doing it).

As a reader, I'd say your talent for words is more than just entertainment. Words, powerful as they are, just aren't enough in some situations. This is probably one of them.

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[info]koreanjohnny
2008-08-02 01:34 am UTC (link)
As a reader, I'd say your talent for words is more than just entertainment.


Very much agreed

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[info]logan607
2008-08-04 02:36 pm UTC (link)
Thanks to both of you - I needed it.

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[info]allywest
2008-08-02 04:56 am UTC (link)
Je pense de toi, et toi et ton famille est dans mes priers. I'm looking forward to an update from you. I hope all is well.

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[info]logan607
2008-08-04 02:40 pm UTC (link)
Merci, merci...

I've been meaning to drop you a line to wish you a happy birthday but I've been a bit preoccupied. Happy Birthday!

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[info]aranka
2008-08-02 06:12 am UTC (link)
I felt the same way when my grandfather died. Eventually the stupid guilt just goes away and you're left only with the love you felt for them.

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[info]logan607
2008-08-04 02:41 pm UTC (link)
I hope you're right.

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[info]risen_daemon
2008-08-02 09:45 am UTC (link)
Gonna add that to my list of ten thousand regrets.

Gonna need more damn paper.

Don't we all? =-p

Hey, you're Taiwanese too. I should talk to my grandmother there (she's my last living grandparent) but I don't really have anything to share because my life is dead in the water. What do you say when you have nothing to say?

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passin' by from cali cali, tryin' to find my home...
[info]spicydoritos
2008-08-02 08:13 pm UTC (link)
yo bro, it isnt really much about ur life...its about hers...ask her how shes doing and all that...cherish the times, no doubt.

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Re: passin' by from cali cali, tryin' to find my home...
[info]risen_daemon
2008-08-02 08:36 pm UTC (link)
Wow, that's good advice. She doesn't really talk about how she's doing, though. Mostly she tells me to be good, listen to my parents, like I'm still a lil kid, lol. If anything, I hear news about family back home from my parents.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: passin' by from cali cali, tryin' to find my home...
[info]spicydoritos
2008-08-02 09:50 pm UTC (link)
okay, ask her what she enjoys or what she did enjoy, make her smile about the memories. take it easy bro.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: passin' by from cali cali, tryin' to find my home...
[info]logan607
2008-08-04 02:41 pm UTC (link)
This is some good advice my friend. Thanks for leaving it.

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[info]veijukka
2008-08-02 04:54 pm UTC (link)
You don't have to say anything if you can't think of what to say. Just be there as much as you can. You presence is important.

And don't knock that entertainment talent...laughter doth good like medicine, remember?

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[info]logan607
2008-08-04 02:42 pm UTC (link)
Yes, that's true. I'll try to remember that. I'll see her when she comes back.

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[info]captainduh
2008-08-02 05:51 pm UTC (link)
My grandpa died very recently, so I know what you mean about wishing you'd seen this coming or could have talked to them more. We all thought he'd be in a hospital for a while before he died so we'd know it was coming. It's a huge shock. My sympathies.

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[info]logan607
2008-08-04 02:42 pm UTC (link)
It's so hard to prep for these types of things, no matter how much time you have to do so.

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passin' by from cali cali, tryin' to find my home...
[info]spicydoritos
2008-08-02 08:08 pm UTC (link)
sup there, sorry about ur grandma. im in los angeles for my grandmother, she has ovarian cancer, love her lots. she helped take care of me when my parents divorced at a very early age. neway, wishing u well. ur script reminds me to cherish the moments we have...this day...my grandma was supposed to be gone...but shes doing well. payce!

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Re: passin' by from cali cali, tryin' to find my home...
[info]logan607
2008-08-04 02:43 pm UTC (link)
You sound like a good guy. I'm hoping your grandma makes it through fine.

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[info]prodigallyyours
2008-08-03 02:38 am UTC (link)
sorry to hear about this.

it was just a while ago that we talked about our grandmothers and how much they meant to us.

my prayers go out to you and your family.

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[info]logan607
2008-08-04 02:43 pm UTC (link)
Good grandmothers are hard to come by. I miss mine terribly.

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[info]unenuitblanche
2008-08-03 07:52 pm UTC (link)
i felt the same way about my 19-y-old best friend dying.

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[info]logan607
2008-08-04 02:43 pm UTC (link)
What on earth happened?

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[info]unenuitblanche
2008-08-04 04:30 pm UTC (link)
liver cancer
sickle cell anemia
then lung cancer

she's was from sierra leone, africa where they have the highest death rate.
she was the most beautiful, talented, and inspiring person i'd known and we were extremely close, like sisters.
she said "tell dana i will love her forever" as her last words before she died... yeah.. sad right?

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[info]sleeplessdallas
2008-08-04 07:18 am UTC (link)
"A soul is comparable to an object which was given to us - to each individual, to his or her parents and loved ones, to guard and watch over for a limited time. When the time comes for the object to be returned to its rightful owner, should we not be willing to return it? With regard to our sons, let us therefore consider the matter as 'The L-rd gave, and the L-rd took back, may the Name of the L-rd be Blessed!' "

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coming from an athiest :)
[info]sleeplessdallas
2008-08-04 07:20 am UTC (link)
You might hate me for such long posts, sorry.
Paradoxically, this is, in fact, the only true comfort in the case of the loss of a loved one. That is, to be able to view the passing of the beloved individual from the perspective that that person's soul was gathered in, so to speak, by the One Who had provided it in the first place.

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Re: coming from an athiest :)
[info]logan607
2008-08-04 02:44 pm UTC (link)
These are no long at all. I'm so glad you wrote them - I know that you're an atheist but these are all so good to hear. Thanks so much for leaving them for me - really.

You are the best!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

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