logan607 ([info]logan607) wrote,
@ 2008-07-29 10:09:00
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Current location:my office
Current mood: crushed
Entry tags:church, dialogue, discussion, faith, family, goodbye

All good things come to an end


Him: What's the point of dating her if it's not going anywhere?
Me: All relationships end. Some just end sooner than others.

Anthropologist Ernest Becker once said that Everything that man does in his symbolic world is an attempt to deny and overcome his grotesque fate.

All relationships end. And all relationships that matter end in tears. It's just the way it goes. There's nothing you adore now, that you can hold now, that you won't lose at some point down the line. Either because it goes - or you go. It's all ashes and dust and there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it.

And it doesn't matter how you go, yeah? Someone'll wish you didn't.

Writers try and cheat the end we know is coming. It's our sad way of staying longer than we should. Because I've tricked you, you see. I've made you think of me.

My grandmother passed away. I'm heartbroken.


Please don't say, I'm sorry. Tell me something funny or interesting. Cause I gotta go home and dunno what to say to my mom.

I'm a crap writer. I've run outta words.

Music: the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day til the feeling went away
www.loganlo.com
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[info]stelladieve
2008-07-29 02:40 pm UTC (link)
relationships/love is so...transient.
we have to learn to see what's beautiful in things that are ephemeral and accept that there isn't a damn thing we can do about it.

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[info]logan607
2008-08-01 07:01 pm UTC (link)
It's hard. I'm a lot older than you and I'm still learning.

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[info]irene82
2008-07-29 02:44 pm UTC (link)
this is all over metro manila news.

http://www.presstelegram.com/opinions/ci_9996369

hugs

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[info]logan607
2008-08-01 07:02 pm UTC (link)
It's over all the news here too - thanks for the hug.

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[info]irnbruise
2008-07-29 02:45 pm UTC (link)
My mother always tells me that when my grandparents die (they're both still alive and in good health, fortunately) I shouldn't be sad, because they've both had good lives. It won't matter to me but I try to keep that in mind.

As for funny.. I called my best friend last night to tell her I've been corresponding with two really cute girls, and all she said was, "Why did you have to call in the middle of Countdown with Keith Olbermann?" Sometimes, your wavelengths just don't match up.

I never know the right thing to say when something really matters. I guess sometimes you don't have to.

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[info]logan607
2008-08-01 07:02 pm UTC (link)
I never know what to say. I hope you're right about not having to.

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[info]sabatoa
2008-07-29 02:49 pm UTC (link)
Phony Joker arrested in Michigan: http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080728/NEWS06/80728072

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[info]vagabondshoes
2008-07-30 02:02 am UTC (link)
HAHAHA, that's where I live now!

(Reply to this) (Parent)
(no subject) - [info]vagabondshoes, 2008-07-30 02:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]logan607, 2008-08-01 07:03 pm UTC

[info]kemidra
2008-07-29 03:04 pm UTC (link)
When my first grandmother died, my mother's mom, I was the one who had to break the news to my mother. It was a bad period in our lives - just a week after the night I'd actually physically shoved her (only time our fighting ever got physical) and then later, in a haze of despair, tried to kill myself. To say our relationship was strained would be an understatement. When her mother died and I got the phone call, I had a selfish, terrible thought that I didn't want to have to tell her because I didn't want that moment of closeness with her. But, as death tends to do, when the moment came all the bitterness from before was swept away. After the shock faded and the tears started to change over to acceptance, my mother and I talked all night... about me, about her, about her mother, about everything that scared us and eventually, everything we loved about each other. My mother believes my grandmother's spirit was there in the room that night. I don't know how bad things would have gotten had we not been forced to share that moment, but I know how much better it was afterward.

When my father's mother died, my sister did a good deal of the cleaning up and sorting of things in her apartment. She had been living in a small apartment in a retirement community. My sister called me in tears at one point because when she brought a box of my grandmother's clothes down for women who wanted them, it broke her heart to see the old women pawing through them and taking things... she knew it was ok and that's what she had wanted them to do, but it just seemed really callous to her and it was hard to watch.

At the funeral, my sister was presented with a quilt, stitched from fabric cut out of my grandmother's old clothing, by the women who had taken those clothes. It turned out they had a habit of doing that when presented with the opportunity, as a gift to the loved ones of the person that died.

The quilt still smells like my grandmother's clothes. My sister keeps it at her house and wraps herself or her kids up in it whenever they're feeling sad or lonely. It was the most beautiful gift we could have gotten.

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[info]junco513
2008-07-29 09:19 pm UTC (link)
this post made me tear up. it's really sweet what those women did.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]hidden_passages, 2008-07-29 11:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]logan607, 2008-08-01 07:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kemidra, 2008-08-01 07:05 pm UTC

[info]sleeplessdallas
2008-07-29 03:17 pm UTC (link)
The truth is, at a time like this I have nothing to say more then, my condolences.

When I was leaving Russia, it was my grandfather who was saying goodbye to us, in an airport. I remember everything about that day, the last moment our hands touched, his smile that was fading away in a distance. I adored my grandfather, he was my hero, still is. I had a dream, my damn dreams. I had a dream that finally the rest of my family came to America, except grandpa is not with them. I asked my grandma where he is at, and she said that he passed. That morning we got a phone call that he is in a comma, he died three months later.
I don't know what kind of relationship you had with your grandma, but for me it got a bit easier, tearing up right now, I miss him so much. It's the sweet memories that carried me through, I hope you will remember the best of the moments and hold on to them. Let them make you strong for your family and for you.
Hugs.
Lana

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[info]logan607
2008-08-01 07:05 pm UTC (link)
I didn't know this about you. I'm always finding out something fascinating about you.

Thanks, Lana.

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[info]benlbr
2008-07-29 04:13 pm UTC (link)
So three guys are in heaven, and God asks them, "What would you like to hear people say about you at your funeral?"

The first guy says, "...that I was a good husband, a great father, a hard worker and just an all around good guy."
The second guys says, "...that I was a great friend, smart, witty, just a joy to be around."
The third guy says, "Holy Crap! I think he's moving!"

Given the circumstances, hope all is well Logan :)

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[info]logan607
2008-08-01 07:05 pm UTC (link)
That was perfect. I'm totally stealing this joke.

Thanks, brother.

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[info]rianessa
2008-07-29 04:49 pm UTC (link)
Celebrate her life and celebrate who she was. Enjoy the memories that you have of her. Sure you are reminiscing, but is that a bad thing?

Three of my four grandparents are still alive. I never met my dad's father, actually none of the cousins did. But the others are still pretty strong, especially the 94 year old gramps who has a wicked memory.

In any case, even though most of us have never met you in real life - you know that we're here for you and your family. keep strong and take care.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]logan607
2008-08-01 07:06 pm UTC (link)
You're right, you are all a good source of support. It's always strange and surprising where your support comes from.

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[info]sometimessome
2008-07-29 05:01 pm UTC (link)
My grandfather was in the hospital dying and the last thing he said to me before he died was, "How come you're so ugly?" I was his favorite granddaughter and now instead of having a very sad last memory, it always makes me smile.

Edited at 2008-07-29 05:02 pm UTC

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[info]logan607
2008-08-01 07:08 pm UTC (link)
That's quite something (of course, you know you're not). I wish I had some conversation between the two of us before she left.

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[info]friseurfrau
2008-07-29 05:31 pm UTC (link)
Interesting you posted this on the same day I posted something like I did...

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[info]logan607
2008-08-01 07:10 pm UTC (link)
Yes - I'd been meaning to comment. It's difficult, the changes we have to deal with.

You and I'll be fine, though. It's just the here and now that's difficult to contend with.

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[info]loki
2008-07-29 05:36 pm UTC (link)
To everything there is a season,
a time for every purpose under the sun.
a time to be born and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
a time to kill and a time to heal ...
a time to weep and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn and a time to dance ...
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to lose and a time to seek;
a time to rend and a time to sew;
a time to keep silent and a time to speak;
a time to love and a time to hate;
a time for war and a time for peace.
ecclesiastes 3:1-8

My grandfather passed two years ago, but I never really felt like I knew him. The last 10 years of his life were filled with Parkinson's and Alzheimer's, so it's pretty safe to say he never really knew me either. Find joy in the memories you have of your grandmother. Many of us can only piece together memories of our loved ones from handed down stories. :(

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[info]logan607
2008-08-01 07:10 pm UTC (link)
Thanks - I've many memories. I should write them down before I forget.

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[info]kastinkerbell
2008-07-29 05:39 pm UTC (link)
So...you know my mom died. I was there when it happened. The first step was that she had trouble breathing. The only option was a massive dose of morphine (it helps breathing in addition to pain reduction). The problem? She could never talk to us again. So with tears in our eyes we said the last we could as they were injecting her. Then she closed her eyes and it was quiet. She was breathing and appeared comfortable.

Well...now what?

So we all sat around talking. Every once in awhile she would squeeze my hand to let us know she was still "there".

Her brother and sister were in town (they live out of state) because she had moved to hospice just days before. My uncle was out having a grand time with friends in town. He didn't get the phone call. So when he finally got there, he came in and made a bit of an ass of himself. My mom had started making movements (twiddling her thumbs...like she was just passing time until it was time to pass) so we told her to give her brother the finger.

And she did.

We all nearly fell off our chairs in laughter. Since it was the middle of the night, the nurses scolded us and made sure we closed the door. Laughter through the tears.

I don't know if that is funny enough to make you laugh. Maybe it was a "you had to be there" moment. As a failsafe, I give you a vision of my future son...if he takes after his dad in any way.

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[info]vagabondshoes
2008-07-30 01:54 am UTC (link)
My experience with my dad was somewhat similar, at least regarding the breathing. My mom, sister, and I were with him. He was still somewhat alert but had lost most of his ability to speak. We kept asking him questions.
"Do you want me to call [my brothers]?"
"Do you want water?"
"Do you want this, that, etc..."
The things he didn't want took to much energy to respond to, but he found ways to let us know what he did want.
"Do you want us to shut up and quit bugging you?"
He gave me the biggest, shit-eating grin I've ever seen, and I smile every time I remember his face in that moment.

(Even if a little tear is trickling down my cheek as I type this...)

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]logan607, 2008-08-01 07:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]logan607, 2008-08-01 07:11 pm UTC

[info]gargamehl
2008-07-29 05:45 pm UTC (link)
Even though everything ends, relationships is the one thing nobody can take away from you. The relationship always is real. You don't get to interact with their mind anymore, but what they did for you will always be there.

All that matters is how you go. I hope when I go, they all will say, "he went down swinging."

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[info]logan607
2008-08-01 07:13 pm UTC (link)
I don't care so much how I go - I just want someone to note that I left.

That'd be nice.

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[info]mary_lennox
2008-07-29 06:05 pm UTC (link)
Here's a random baby video that makes me laugh since I'm on a current baby craze:



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[info]logan607
2008-08-01 07:13 pm UTC (link)
I'd like to laugh like that again. Hopefully, soon...

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[info]bloodyhamster
2008-07-29 07:33 pm UTC (link)
something funny:
so i get my first car... a suzuki wagon r... the most people would say it's very ugly but i think he's (i think he is a he) kind of special... especially with his pinguins on the doorsides and maybe he looks a little bit surferish (is that an english word?) ... but i have a huge problem HE HASN'T GOT A NAME YET!!! and he must have one... i think about azrael or herbie or (the sticker say.. king of the wave but i don't want to name him king or something lame like this) and now i was thinking about you and about dave and so i'll ask you: would you have another great idea what name my car should have?
i hope you can help me....


is it weird to give objects names? am i weird... are you weird ... oh on my opinion the world is weird...
just give your mom a huge hug!

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[info]logan607
2008-08-01 07:14 pm UTC (link)
I like Herbie - it reminds me of my childhood.

Thank you for this. Tell Dave I said hello.

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[info]monkeycomic
2008-07-29 08:05 pm UTC (link)
After my grandfather died, I was looking for a hat in the closet, and granted, if I had to look for it you know it's not that tidy. But I was just abuot to give up when the hat flung itself onto my head. Later on, I was looking for the photo album that held my grandparent's wedding pictures in another closet. I heard something sliding towards me but wasn't quick enough to avoid the book, which conked my on the forehead. Coincidence? They watch out for us, man.

Earlier this year, my grandfather's brother died (followed by his wife six weeks later--this year has had its low points, hasn't it?), and after a whole day of crying, I found this and it made me laugh, mainly because I imagined their reactions to it:



What you wrote there wasn't crap, either, everyone you've ever known is in those words.

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[info]kastinkerbell
2008-07-30 01:38 pm UTC (link)
Similar things happened after my mom died. Things we had been looking for for several weeks (like her old wedding ring) just *suddenly* appeared. And one time when I was particularly down, things of hers would practically (sometimes nearly literally) jump out at me.

(Reply to this) (Parent)
(no subject) - [info]logan607, 2008-08-01 07:15 pm UTC

[info]allywest
2008-07-29 08:44 pm UTC (link)
i'm finding myself in you more and more each day. i'm so glad we connected on here.

Il ya duex saucisse dans une poele. Une saucisse tourner a l'autre saucisse et dit 'ei ei ei, il fait chaud ici, enh?'

L'autre saucisse ecrier 'Mon Dieu! Une saucisse qui parle!'

Thats the best I could do. I've been assured this joke is a million times funnier in french than in english. I hope it helps.

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[info]logan607
2008-08-01 07:18 pm UTC (link)
I am amazed that I understood 99% of that joke without a dictionary. My JHS French survives some how. (I didn't know "saucisse").

Thanks.

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[info]junco513
2008-07-29 09:31 pm UTC (link)
I hope your pain will be replaced soon with happy memories of your Grandma.

No matter how bad of a day I'm having, when I hold my dogs and they lick me all over my face, it never fails to cheer me up. So, sending you some doggy kisses.

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[info]logan607
2008-08-01 07:18 pm UTC (link)
I'll take them.

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[info]aranka
2008-07-29 11:03 pm UTC (link)
Life and love are evanescent yes, but so are you. Detaching yourself won't assuage it any. I suggest you embrace your infintesimal self and allow things that will die or end be crucial to you. If you were god, detachment would be an appropriate response, but you are human and so you should be human.

But since you want a distraction, this always makes me smile:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jx-ualuq45E&feature=related

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[info]logan607
2008-08-01 07:18 pm UTC (link)
Of course you would send me that. =)

Thanks, Ari.

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[info]impensada
2008-07-30 12:52 am UTC (link)
I won't say I'm sorry, but I lost my grandmother two months ago, and it's really tough. *hugs*

Um, yesterday I had to wander around Times Square looking for houses of prostitution, is that interesting?

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[info]logan607
2008-08-01 07:19 pm UTC (link)
Isn't it tough? Yet people make it through. Sigh, guess I gotta too.

It is interesting - do they still exist?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]impensada, 2008-08-01 07:26 pm UTC

[info]aralis
2008-07-30 01:11 am UTC (link)
Not ALL relationships end. A happy marriage doesn't end....one may leave this earth or both but they are still together in their hearts and souls.

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[info]logan607
2008-08-01 07:20 pm UTC (link)
I'd like to believe that. I'll tell you what I think once I get married.

If it happens. I'd like it to happen.

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[info]vagabondshoes
2008-07-30 01:41 am UTC (link)
My friend's mom told me that there is no right or wrong way to deal. You just deal, and however you deal is just fine.

It seems kind of obvious, but hearing that was probably what I needed most at that time.

And although this sounds ridiculous, my mantra to keep myself grounded when it wasn't a good time to be emotional was, "Single parents alone together, single parents alone together..." from that movie, About a Boy. I never read the book, so I don't know if it's in there. I'm neither a single parent nor alone together, but it worked.

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[info]veijukka
2008-07-30 05:16 am UTC (link)
There is one relationship that NEVER ends.


We've had terrible smoke recently from all the fires, which makes for spectacular sunsets.

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[info]logan607
2008-08-01 07:20 pm UTC (link)
That. Is. Amazing.

I may use that pic for something (and attribute it to you, of course!)

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[info]turtle5485
2008-07-30 05:47 am UTC (link)
hugs hugs hugs hugs. i am terrible with words when it comes to condolences. but wish i could give you a hug.

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[info]logan607
2008-08-01 07:21 pm UTC (link)
Well, you sent me four virtual ones so that's certainly something.

I'll take them all, with much gratitude, Jackie.

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[info]in_a_silver_bag
2008-07-30 06:09 am UTC (link)
Then don’t say anything – that doesn’t make you a crap writer, just human. And it gives space for good memories to come back.

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[info]logan607
2008-08-01 07:21 pm UTC (link)
Well said - and I'll take that under advisement.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

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