logan607 ([info]logan607) wrote,
@ 2008-02-25 12:02:00
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Current location:writing this with a glass of rum for Mike
Current mood: grateful
Entry tags:goodbye, john donne, mike

Mike



My friend Mike passed away; I just heard the news this weekend. Very sudden.

An older guy, he looked like he was 45. He had a six-pack! Paul and I joked all the time that he looked better than botha us. He was a student in my fencing class; 65 years old and still training hard.

I remember that when everything went down with me, so many people said, Well, the only way is up. Which is yet another one of those sayings that only has the air of truth but no real truth to it - dude, there's always more room for down. Always.

Mike didn't say that; he said: I'm an old man, I've seen a lotta things. You never know what Life will give you, but good or bad, you take it anyway.

We live in a Cliff's Notes society where we know the punchlines, but never the whole saying:
  • Fools rush in (where angels fear tread)
  • Curiosity killed the cat, (and satisfaction brought him back)
  • Speak of the devil (and the devil appears)
Y'know the sayings: for whom the bell tolls and no man is an island? They come from a John Donne poem:

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manner of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

Mike, you bastard, you made a room fulla grown men with pointy sticks and aggression issues cry. We're diminished.

I hope when I go, I'm half the man you were.

Music: Well, if it rains, I don't care Don't make no difference to me
www.loganlo.com
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(48 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]stickles
2008-02-25 05:27 am UTC (link)
My condolences truly.

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[info]logan607
2008-02-25 05:41 am UTC (link)
Thanks - it was really weird for me to find out the way I did. I just showed up and they told me.

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[info]myeah
2008-02-25 05:29 am UTC (link)
Sorry for your loss....*hugs*

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[info]logan607
2008-02-25 05:41 am UTC (link)
He had a daughter about my age; they were very close. I feel terrible for her.

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[info]myeah
2008-02-25 05:51 am UTC (link)
I know what you mean, my husband's father passed away last year and it is horrible, but I had no idea of the sense of loss/pain until I was afraid for my own father's health and just the thought of him being gone was so...gut wrenching...
I guess it just makes us value and enjoy those who touch us even in the slightest more and more...

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[info]aranka
2008-02-25 05:37 am UTC (link)
I'm so sorry. Sucks when anyone dies. Sucks very much when someone cool and young dies.

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[info]logan607
2008-02-25 05:43 am UTC (link)
He was so, so cool. He was a former Vietnam vet and just unbelievably fit. He was 65 with a six-pack - a six-pack! He also punched like a mule.

Crazy. We all thought he'd outlive us.

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[info]aranka
2008-02-25 05:44 am UTC (link)
The good die young. I'm no Christian, but a Christian once told me that God takes people once they've finished their good work on earth.

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[info]logan607
2008-02-25 06:02 am UTC (link)
He was Jewish too, which is why I couldn't go to the funeral - they already buried him before any of us found out.

I don't think most Christians think that. Most Christians know life is hard; God promises you nothing but pain. But it's by grace that we get the good we do.

But thank you, you're such a good person. I read your blog and I feel sad that you have all this crap to deal with all the time.

Life is sweet, I'm finding, if you let it be.

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[info]in_a_silver_bag
2008-02-25 05:46 am UTC (link)
Schön geschrieben... Mein Beileid.

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[info]logan607
2008-02-25 06:00 am UTC (link)
Vielen Dank - fühle ich mir albern, dass ich so viel Sorgen über alles.

Das Leben ist ja schön.

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[info]in_a_silver_bag
2008-02-25 11:27 am UTC (link)
Ja, das ist es, mein Freund. Mit allem. Besonders dann, wenn du dafür kämpfst.

Und ich finde es überhaupt nicht albern, wenn du dir über vieles Sorgen/Gedanken machst. Solange du die Sorgen nicht zu deinem einzigen Lebensinhalt werden lässt, bringen sie dich nur weiter. Meine kleine Theorie...

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[info]jaerik
2008-02-25 05:51 am UTC (link)
Having just lost a good friend myself, you have my sympathies.

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[info]logan607
2008-02-25 06:04 am UTC (link)
I'll take them. He was what you and I wanna be. Dude, he was one fit guy. 65 and looked like a spry 45-50 year old. Crazy.

Still training and training hard. He came on Saturdays when I was the assistant and never complained. His cardio rocked mine.

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[info]jaerik
2008-02-25 06:49 am UTC (link)
You got my number if you need it.

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[info]turtle5485
2008-02-25 06:46 am UTC (link)
so sorry,
thats a lovely poem.

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[info]logan607
2008-02-25 01:39 pm UTC (link)
Isn't it? I thought of it as soon as I heard.

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[info]irnbruise
2008-02-25 06:59 am UTC (link)
I'm very sorry for your loss. :(

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[info]logan607
2008-02-25 01:40 pm UTC (link)
Hey there you are. It's like the poem means, he wasn't a huge player in my life, but always there. It's weird and sad to go to class and not see him there. He was such a decent guy.

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[info]caffeineguy
2008-02-25 07:51 am UTC (link)
65. wow, that is sadly unexpected given that people are living longer nowadays. was it an illness?

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[info]logan607
2008-02-25 01:42 pm UTC (link)
Seriously, you and I wish we looked as good as him. I wish I had a picture; he was in just amazing, amazing shape.

Turned out he had a brain tumor. He would drop his weapon in class a few times and was slower at picking things up, recently. No one knew. He just collapsed one day and was gone a few days later.

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[info]seemoore
2008-02-25 12:27 pm UTC (link)
I'm sorry Logan. I always think dealing with death is something I've covered, and then I realize it's something you never get used to. Thanks for posting the idioms in their full glory, I didn't even know a couple of those...

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[info]logan607
2008-02-25 01:43 pm UTC (link)
Like I said, we live in a Cliff's Notes society.

No, you never get used to it. I think we'd all be less if we got a little to blase about it.

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[info]sabatoa
2008-02-25 12:57 pm UTC (link)
65 and in amazing shape? Too young to go. Sorry for your loss.

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[info]logan607
2008-02-25 01:43 pm UTC (link)
Seriously, as I've said earlier, we all wish we looked half as good as him now.

Crazy great shape.

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[info]kastinkerbell
2008-02-25 02:01 pm UTC (link)
I believe that the poem has it's origins in the Inns of Court. I can't quite remember the finer details of the legend, but I believe the bell is supposed to only toll for a bencher (you're a bencher for life). So the people sending to know who it tolled for were trying to get ahead in life...sorta the ambulance chasers of their day.

I discovered a while ago that the price I pay for surrounding myself with friends older than 60 is that I get to go to funerals a lot. It's so worth it to know them and to make them part of the fabric of our lives. But it sure sucks to see them go.

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[info]logan607
2008-02-25 04:22 pm UTC (link)
That's right - I just looked it up after reading your comment but I couldn't find anything on it but now I know what I'm going to do for lunch.

It does suck to see them go; with him it was totally unexpected. I just saw him a month ago and he was totally fine.

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[info]evisceria78
2008-02-25 04:46 pm UTC (link)
I'm so sorry Logan.

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[info]logan607
2008-02-25 08:21 pm UTC (link)
Thanks - I feel a lot more for his daughter. He was older and lived a good life but seriously, no one thought he'd be going anywhere for decades.

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[info]houses7177
2008-02-25 05:18 pm UTC (link)
It was lovely to read the poem in entirety--you're right, we're too much a Cliff's Notes society.

And you're also right: there is always room for more down, sadly enough.

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend.

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[info]logan607
2008-02-25 08:22 pm UTC (link)
It's one of my favorite poems in the world. He's got so many; he was quite talented and a lot of his works live on today in our common vernacular like this one does.

As I told someone previously, I thought of it immediately when I heard Mike had left us.

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[info]koreanjohnny
2008-02-25 06:58 pm UTC (link)
knowing what it's like to lose a good friend and someone to look up to like that, i'm sorry friend :(

my sincere sympathies

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[info]logan607
2008-02-25 08:23 pm UTC (link)
I'll take them with gratitude.

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[info]piratprinzessin
2008-02-25 07:38 pm UTC (link)
Herzliches Beileid.

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[info]logan607
2008-02-25 08:26 pm UTC (link)
Danke der Nachfrage.

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[info]kemidra
2008-02-25 08:01 pm UTC (link)
You know, you're completely right and I had never even realized that: I didn't know a single one of those full sayings. I didn't even know that the saying "No man is an island" and "Send not to know for whom the bell tolls... it tolls for thee" were part of the same poem.

I hope I never said "the only way is up" when things got bad for you. I may have. But what I should have said was, "keep getting back up," because what the hell else is there to do? It doesn't have the same ring to it, I'll grant, but I prefer truth to platitudes and I suspect you do as well.

Your friend sounds like he was a good man to know.

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[info]logan607
2008-02-25 08:28 pm UTC (link)
I think the best things to say are the things that come from the heart - truly (without the cheese the statement seems to come with).

That's why the empty platitudes see so empty because they're sorta a knee-jerk reaction to bad things. I don't believe you said anything like that and you're someone that always checks in on me so I'm grateful.

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passin' by in the wonderful weather of cali cali!!!
[info]spicydoritos
2008-02-25 08:50 pm UTC (link)
just wanted to say my condolences.
sux to hear of a lost friend. God Bless.

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Re: passin' by in the wonderful weather of cali cali!!!
[info]logan607
2008-02-25 10:00 pm UTC (link)
Thank you much - send me some more sunshine man.

There's no enough here.

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[info]anf322
2008-02-25 10:44 pm UTC (link)
my condolences. come to cali for some sun.

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[info]logan607
2008-02-26 01:52 am UTC (link)
I will, I'll need a sofa though.

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[info]veijukka
2008-02-26 02:05 am UTC (link)
I'm sorry you've lost such a cool friend. It's people like that seem to make it all worthwhile.

Good poem. I'll remember it.

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[info]logan607
2008-02-26 04:20 am UTC (link)
I'm sorry too; I really do believe that line is true where one man's death is a loss to so many. He's been a mainstay for me - every Tuesday and Saturday - for four years.

It's a lot emptier without him.

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[info]divinelv
2008-02-26 03:23 am UTC (link)
Hey, just wanted to say I'm sorry to hear about your friend.

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[info]logan607
2008-02-26 04:21 am UTC (link)
Thanks L - I'm always happy to hear from you, you know that...

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[info]unenuitblanche
2008-03-05 11:48 pm UTC (link)
beautifully written... i didn't know the end of those phrases either... you're so right... you're such a genius. sorry for your loss logan...

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[info]logan607
2008-03-06 01:49 am UTC (link)
Thanks - I noticed that you commented on Rain's Video blog. Did you read him before you read me or vice versa?

So curious!

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[info]unenuitblanche
2008-03-06 02:24 am UTC (link)
I don't remember commenting on his blog -- must have been a long time ago after I watched 72nd to Canal... I found him through your blog from watching your vid. series, "Lorin". ;)

I'm a curious cat myself... =^.,.^=

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