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Thursday, July 9th, 2009
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12:01 am - The purpose of life is...
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Let's play a game; finish this sentence and then I'll see you on the other side of this quick post:
The purpose of life is ______________.
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Got an email the other day from out of the blue from someone I dated.
...and i know this is random, but for what it's worth, thank you for never having sex with me, when we were seeing each other. i wish i could expand on that further, but something tells me that i don't really have to, i know you understand.
Also got an email and $40 from 0utre cause I sent her slim coin for a paring knife a few years back when I had some spare scratch.
I took that paring knife with me everywhere. I won't ever forget your kindness to me then and now, may we meet someday so I can return the kindness once again in person in a more human manner. Kindest Regards.
Finally, someone else wrote me and said,
Logan, you don't know me - well, that's not completely true. I met you once and you mentioned the blog so I read you. And keep reading. The funny thing is that I find myself saying things that you said in your blog in conversations with other people. And I wanted to say thanks because you make me think of good things. Most things I read don't. ----------
Everyone finishes that sentence differently. Here's the thing - how you finish that sentence shapes how you live your life (or vice versa).
Consider how differently these guys live their lives:
- The purpose of life is to have a good time.
- The purpose of life to become closer to God.
- The purpose of life is to raise good members of society.
- The purpose of life it to get what you can, when you can.
- The purpose of life is to live for the moment.
My answer?
Well, suppose that's a post for another time. Do wanna say that it was very different not that long ago when I was friends with the Devil and didn't have to unwrap my food. In fact, it was onea the above.
Which one? That too's a post for a different time, yeah?
But I wanna say thanks to the girlie I dated, Outre and my anonymous fan. Cause y'make me think that maybe I'm on the right path to fulfilling my true purpose.
Music: hold on, hold on let me get the words out before I burst
YASYCTAI: Finish the sentence. Honestly (and tell me in a comment).Extra half-point; ask the person y'love to... (1 min/2.5 pts)
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current mood:  grateful
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| Tuesday, July 7th, 2009
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12:01 am - My 4th Weekend, 2009
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| Thursday, July 2nd, 2009
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12:16 am - ...blue sea
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Just found out an ex had another kid. A boy. And Germany's on my mind again.
And other ghosts from my past keep making appearances.
Him: You're so naive, Logan. Me: The difference between you and me, is that I think people're inherently bad, but can do great things. You think people're inherently good - but y'like knowing how dirty they can become. Him: (laughing) Alla these Europeans and Americans so pissed off about their white Christian children dying in Iraq and Somalia for brown Muslim babies; they got no problem saving white Muslim babies in Bosnia or Serbia. But man, brown ones? They go nuts. That is, until they can't afford their plasma TVs. Me: Enough... Him: Why? Cause you know I'm right? The saying goes that, the things that piss you off the most (lowers voice) are the things you know, in your heart, are true.
There's another saying that goes, it's always a choice Between the Devil and the deep...
Music: there's reason to believe Maybe this year will be better than the last
YASYCTAI: Have a relaxing fourth of July if you're on my side of the world. Y'should have even if you're not. (48 hours/0.5 pts)
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current mood:  thoughtful
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| Tuesday, June 30th, 2009
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12:15 am - Fading
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328 Chauncey Street now - not my pic, not my (c)
If you've never clicked on my music link before, y'should do it today for something pretty cool per Caffeineguy.
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Still cleaning my cellar. Been weeks now. Feel like Sisyphus, cept I got a broom insteada a rock. Stupid broom...
Went to a wedding this past weekend. Someone spilled wine all over my suit. White wine, but still. Least the food was good.
Speaking of food, while at Columbia U., my fave joints were Ollie's and The Mill. Right now, Ollie's is a chaina Chinese restaurants while The Mill's a Korean restaurant. But fifteen years ago, Ollie's was an Italian joint with a sprinkling of Chinese food cause they had a Chinese chef. Similarly, the Mill was a Spanish joint with a Korean cook.
A boy could get some spaghetti and some Chinese dumplings at the former and tortillas and kimchi at the latter. Now they're full-on Chinese and Korean joints. Yeah, there're places like Marco Polo Cafe, with trendy Italian/Chinese fusion but I don't want fusion.
I want authentic Italian spaghetti and authentic Chinese dumplings, yeah? Not the same.
Point is, alla the stuff I know, I mean I know, keeps fading on me. Jackie Gleason was the first when I was 14.
Funny story: did y'know the Honeymooner's wife, Alice, spoke Chinese in real life? She and her sister were raised in China so it was their secret language. One spoke it to the other and the other understood.
In a way, that's why the fading bothers me. Cause no one remembers Ollie's when it was knife cool. Or what 328 Chauncy Street means. Or when MJ was still black and did the moonwalk for the first time on Motown 25.
Worry that I'm gonna run outta people to tell something to and have them understand.
Then I remember that I gotta finish sweeping the cellar and then I forget.
Music: she caused a scene then every head turned
YASYCTAI: Alla the shows with the dumb husband and the smart wife started with the Honeymooners. Y'should watch it. (22 mins/0.5 pts)
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current mood:  wet
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| Thursday, June 25th, 2009
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12:01 am - Purpose
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Been dealing with this accountant who seems to know nothing about accounting. Reminds me of a conversation had with AAA a few years ago.
Me: I need someone to come tow my car.
Her: We can't do that right now. Me: Miss, that's like my going into Burger King, asking for a burger and you saying, Oh we don't have burgers. It's your purpose. Her: S'cuse me, what? Me: Sweetie, it's your purpose. It's like a condom. It only has one purpose; should it fail in that purpose, it's raison d'etre's moot. Her: (annoyed) I don't get it and I'm not your sweetie! Me: Well, not with that attitude, you're not...
I'd call this accountant a *complete* idiot, but that'd give him too much credit.
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Met up with my friend Steele for lunch. He's getting married. Asked him if he was ok with being with one person for the resta his life.
Him: Well, in addition to finding her attractive, I get along with her and her family. Me: Is that enough? Him: (thinking) Think of the hottest girl in the world. Me: OK, done. Him: Somewhere out there, there some guy thinking, I'm totally tired of ____ing her. Me: (laughing) Him: Getting along well...that's a lot right there.
Music: Hold Tight. Oh, she said, any way you want it.
YASYCTAI: Been spending a lotta time figuring out my purpose here. Dunno what it is yet. Do you? (dunno/2 pts)
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current mood:  damp!
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| Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009
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12:15 am - Jail Debt
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Her: Oriental Avenue, $100. Do you want to buy it? Me: Yes. I am Asian, after all.
Went to see the musical Rock of Ages this past weekend as an escape from the rain in NYC. Was packed. Was also one of only two Asians in the whole crowd and don't think I saw a single black or Hispanic in the lot. Dunno why.
Good show.
Next night, played Monopoly for the first time in over a decade. One would think that it would be impossible to end up in jail six times in a row and nine times overall. One would be mistaken.
You and your luck, she said.
Lost a lotta hands. But won the game.
Maybe my life'll be the same, yeah?
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Just walked in the door after helping a little old lady fix her computer somewhere north of the city. Cost me three hours of my life.
But she helped me out some a little while back. Hate being in anyone's debt and I never forget a favour. As a bonus, she gave me a bowl of ravioli and a Coors Light.
Dinner of champions.
Music: I'm a cowboy, I got the night on my side
YASYCTAI: Pay back a favour. (dunno/2 pts)
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current mood:  puzzled
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| Friday, June 19th, 2009
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12:00 am - Wannabe Sleepyhead
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Not been sleeping again and've been hitting gym. Tend to look my best when I feel my worst. 16 tabs of ibuprofen and a protein shake for lunch can't possibly be good.
Don't it sometimes feel like you're sleepwalking through life? The rain's the only thing that reminds me I'm awake.
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Went to see my dad tonight for father's day and got into a terrible argument.
We actually get along better than most fathers and sons, but still, there's a reason why children move away.
Dunno what you think of me; I'm probably shorter, geekier, and clumsier than you think I am. Or not, dunno.
Do have my moments of eloquence - just not with my father. Something about fathers turn logical, dispassionate men into yell-ey, argumentative sons.
But, if I had the composure to think of it - and the vocabulary in Chinese to say it - woulda told him this poem by Kahil Gibran:
What I actually said was more like, Lemme live my life, ok?
Do have my moments of eloquence. But only with strangers reading me on digital ink. Just not with my father, whom I love more than most anything - even the rum - but don't wanna be.
Music: they crowd your bedroom like some thoughts wearing thin
YASYCTAI: Have y'ever written an email/letter to your dad? Not easy. Even if y'like writing, it's not easy. (hours/2 pts)
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current mood:  guilty
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| Tuesday, June 16th, 2009
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12:01 am - Weirdos
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Her: (annoyed) What kinda guy doesn't sleep with a girl when he can?
Me: (shrugging) No one ever says to a girl, Man, I can't believe you didn't sleep with that guy. Her: It's different for us. Me: Only cause you think it is. To answer your question, The kinda guy that thinks that he's got plentya chances.
Went out the other night with WM, Paul and a female friend. WM ended up being straddled by this attractive girl in the middle of the club, so the resta us bounced.
Midnight, we get a call from WM saying that he's coming over. We all ask him why he didn't bring the girlie home and get to know her in the biblical sense.
He said it was cause he liked her and wanted to see her again. Paul and I understood but our female friend didn't. Thought it a bit of role-reversal.
Sometimes, dunno if we're the weirdos or everyone else are.
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Was on the train the other day when a really drunk girl and a guy stumbled in. The train lurches so she grabs me for support.
The guy, obviously trying to close the deal with her, looks mildly annoyed. So, chat them up until my stop.
At the end of the stop, he asks if I wanna grab a drink with them but I say, Can't. I'm seeing my girl. Goodnight, Alex. Goodnight, Jessica.
Goodnight, Logan, they say.
I do so enjoy my random meetings.
Music: (von Vagabondshoes) I cannot reach a pen for me to draw the line
YASYCTAI: Try a different slice of pizza. Been eating a lot of white pizza lately. (5 mins/0.5 pts)
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current mood: awake
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| Thursday, June 11th, 2009
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12:01 am - My three islands
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Quadros: Rampage, where do you see yourself in 2 years?,
Rampage: Well, right now I'm 23, so in two years, I see myself, 25.
Bryson met up with me to take some pics for him on the tram. Was cloudy and overcast but I took them anyway.
Was born on the island east of this bridge. Live on the island west of it. Yet, I've never taken the tram to the island between them until today.
Afterward, we had lunch at Johnny Rockets. Never been there either. Thought of my grandma; cause y'always think there'll be time enough to do things. Then one day, y'find you've done run outta time.
He's having a kid. His wife, a doctor, agreed to let him teach her how to roll. Should mention that's he onea the best architects in his field and parta the teams in chargea giving the tram a facelift.
Me: Look at us, we're two old, ivy-league educated, white-collar guys. I know why I do it, why do you do it? Him: It's just like running or something. It's not about beating the other guy, it's about beating yourself. (Fighting in the ring's) different than brawling; to paraphrase Rampage Jackson, if you get into a fight with someone in a club, eventually, someone's gonna have their feelings hurt.
Those three lives I told y'about. We all got them. Realized 90 minutes ago, that I've spent 90% of my life on these two islands, doing two very different things, living two very different lives.
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Before his rematch against Chuck Liddell:
Interviewer: Chuck said in his pre-fight interview it's gonna be a first round knockout. What do you have to say about that? Rampage: If he plans on getting knocked out in the first round that's his business.
YASYCTAI: Do that thing that y'always think you've got time for so y'don't. (dunno/1 pt)
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current mood:  geeky
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| Tuesday, June 9th, 2009
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12:15 am - How'd you not know?
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Me: Y'home? I'm by your pad.
Him: I'm sick, bedridden, and vomiting. Me: What're you trying to say?
A story goes that a snake wants to cross a river. So he asks a frog to carry him across. The frog goes, Screw you. You're just gonna bite me. So the snake goes, Nah, we'll both drown if I do that. So the frog figures that makes sense.
Midway, the snake bites the frog, who goes, #@$! Why'd you do that? Now we're both gonna die.
As the snake goes under, he goes, It's in my nature. Y'knew what I was when you picked me up.
Thoughta that story this past weekend, when I told someone about the SA in Nazi Germany. Before the SS, the SA were the guys that brought Hitler to power. If the SS were the well-dressed executioners of the Nazi party, the SA were the fat, meathead brawlers.
After the Nazi party seized power, Hitler had them all killed, in the Night of the Long Knives, including onea his best friends, Ernst Roehm (who was also gay).
Thought of this again this morning on the train to have lunch with my dad and sis. Headline in the paper read, Taliban feel Pakistani Wrath. It's about how, after the Taliban blew up a Pakistani mosque, Pakistan realized these guys were a buncha sick scumbags.
To Ernst Roehm, the Pakistani government and that frog, I gotta say, Cm'on...it's in their nature - how're you surprised? You knew what they were when y'picked them up.
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Finally finished cleaning my new pad. Found a switchblade I got when I was a kid.
Always kinda surprised I made it to 36.
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Here's a pic of the Shuttle Atlantis against the sun.
Any douchebag can break stuff down. But this kinda stuff, this kinda stuff's the stuff of God.
(c) NASA
Music: Earth below us, drifting, falling, Floating weightless, calling, calling home
YASYCTAI: What's on your MP3 player? Logan needs new tunes. Yes, I'm referring to myself in third person. Logan says it's ok. (10 mins/0.5 pts)
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current mood:  accomplished
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| Thursday, June 4th, 2009
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12:14 am - Something to me
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Sorry I've not posted in a while, been hella busy. Moving from one part of my building to another. Thought it'd be easy but it's not cause one collects a great deal of - for lack of a better word - crap in 36 years. Everything has a story to it; some stories I wanna relive, some I'd rather forget.
Suppose that's hardly news to anyone.
See that pic above? Y'might have seen it before. Love that pic for reasons only I and another person might know. My pastor once said that you don't love a picture causea the paper it's printed on. Y'love a picture for what it represents.
And yeah, I try to donate or toss as mucha my stuff as I can. But I got some ratty things that I love, not cause they're worth something, but cause they're worth some thing to me. So when the guy moving in picks something up and says, Hey can you bring the garbage over so I can toss this? I reply, Oh, gimme that, I'll toss it.
And slip it into my back pocket to put it away later, safely behind all the other crap I love, not cause it's worth something, but cause it's worth some thing to me.
Last week, went to a genuine ball. Was a fundraiser event for Helen Keller International: $1,500 a plate, auctions going for $50,000. The full nine. Sat at a table of lawyers and next to a pretty blond. $1,500 dinners are wasted on people like me; always think, man, I coulda made that better. Probably not true but it's my head, I get to think what I wanna.
Had this cool British auctioneer that was going nuts; made me wanna bid for something. Couldn't though, one trip to Umbria cost like $50K.
Managed to get semi-floated in; felt I should contribute something and I did, in my own way.
On the way there and back, got caught in the rain. It's all just peaks and valleys, isn't it?
So, y'miss me?
YASYCTAI: If something happened and you hadta grab something, what'd it be? (20 mins/2 pts)
Music: been looking so long at these pictures of you
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current mood:  beat
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| Wednesday, May 27th, 2009
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9:34 am - Drums, Guilt and Shame
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A guy named Arthur Koestler once said that, The most persistent sound which reverberates through men's history is the beating of war drums.
But during WWII, he was onea the people few that kept insisting that Nazis had killed 3 million of his fellows. Took another 2.9 million to died before someone someone stopped them.
I'm against war; only a madman is for it. But someone's gotta do something about evil men.
Maybe Memorial Day isn't so much about the kids that marched to the drums so much as it's about their families who can't help but hear them pounding.
Bryson and his wife swung by the other day and brought me out to dinner. She's pregnant and he's trying to get his fourth world title in Brazil as a grappler. He's black, which is important to understand the convo below:
Me: Hey - imagine if he came out Chinese. Him: I'd kill you. (she laughs) Me: Please...I'd be long gone and by then you'd be blessed with a handsome son that talked a lot with his hands.
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Spent most of the holiday days with Heartgirl walking. To the grocery store, to the pier, to the park. And at night we talked. Like we always do. Told her a bit about myself.
Not to give you back-to-back vocabulary lessons, but do y'know the difference between guilt and shame?
When I was a kid, was fat, ugly, and dorky. Then I wasn't and I became shallow, mean and vain. Then in my 30s, I was humbled.
Shame's hating what you are. Guilt's hating what you've done.
Told Heartgirl that I spent my younger years dealing with the former and the recent years dealing with the latter. Don't anymore. Not as much, anywho.
On my arm's a vaccination scar. Remember getting it. Hurt like hell and I cried like a baby (in my defense, I was a baby). Purpose of a vaccination, natch, is to trade a small pain in your youth for a better lifetime. But when you're a kid, you don't know that.
Think that that's where we're all at. The pain's what we gotta go through to become the person we're meant to be. But we don't see it until the pain's long gone. It's the forest for the trees.
Told her that sometimes, life has to break you to make you better.
She nodded, kissed me on my cheek, and told me I should go to sleep.
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I'm moving. Not far.
Music: hear the drums echoing tonight But she hears only whispers
YASYCTAI: Spend just a sec thinking about those drums. (sec/2 pts)
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current mood:  busy
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| Friday, May 22nd, 2009
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12:28 am - Irony:Sarcasm :: Witty:Douchey
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Her:...the usual: burgers, hot dogs. Oh and there'll be softball...
Me: Nope. Her:...volleyball... Me: Nope. Her:...basketball... Me: Nope. (pause) But if there's a competition to compute pi to the 27th digit, I'm all in. You can be on my team. Her: (later) Maybe you shouldn't come. Me: (nodding)
Heartgirl and I went for a stroll in the lovely weather through Sheep Meadow. Realized that she's younger than a little girl that I used to tutor in English; taught that girl the word, kiosk and how to do analogies for the SATs.
Suddenly, I feel very old. And slightly pervy.
Speaking of the SATs, there's a difference between ironic and sarcastic. Irony is sarcasm without the meanness.
Lemme ask you something; since when was sarcasm perceived to equal to intelligence?
Meet so many douches these days that are 24/7 sarcastic that're actually quite stupid. But they're so very proud of their stubbornness, so smug in their assurance that they're right, that they can't see that they might be wrong. And they often are.
Look, I'm all for some sarcasm, but it's called the the lowest form of wit for a reason. Irony's clever. Sarcasm's just hoping that if you sound pissed off or certain enough, no one's gonna call you out that you don't, actually, know a damn thing.
Unfortunately, now people got Twitter, blogs, status updates, and texts to show off how little they actually know about anything in angry little sarcastic rants.
Endless waves of twitter, blogs and status updates mucked with vitriol and sarcasm doesn't make a stupid person sound intelligent; I'm afraid. Cause a tech-savvy bore is still a bore.
Apologies. Had a long day...
Troy: Its when the actual meaning is the complete opposite from the literal meaning. Lelaina: My God, where were you when I needed you today?
Music: along sheeps meadow Never know what we will see. Come take a walk with me
YASYCTAI: Unsubscribe from all the things you subscribe to that you don't actually like but keep cause you're lazy (including me, if y'gotta...) (20 mins/1 pt)
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current mood:  hungry
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| Tuesday, May 19th, 2009
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12:29 am - Heartgirl's surprise elements
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Spent the last two months planning a surprise birthday for Heartgirl.
Everyone should have a nice surprise from time-to-time. Mine are always of the, "Think you should sit down," ilk.
Started off with a buncha her friends at a tapas joint Saturday. Four pitchers of sangria and 24+ plates of food later, waddled off to M1-5, where we threw the opening party for 72nd to Canal. Heartgirl was totally surprised.
Her best friend brought a huge cake (and I forgot Clara, my newest camera). We barely made a dent in it. Interestingly, her best friend's also Irish and her husband's also Asian. He and I spent the tail end of the night picking at the cake. Mainly cause we just don't let things go to waste like that.
Rain, Paul, Tess, WM, Gio and Hazel all made an appearance too, if only just to drink with me. We had a whole section to ourselves. It was 2AM when we left and 4AM when we called it a night.
Cabdriver: (pointing to her) She drunk? Me: Yes, but she's not going to boot in your car. Her: I'm Irish. We don't do that.
Sunday, Heartgirl and I took the whip out in a misguided attempt to go shopping in the burbs. The reason why it was misguided is best illustrated with Boolean logic:
Elements ( )
- Gut-wrenching nausea (Gwn)
- Hangover (H)
- Heatgirl (Hg)
- Logan (L)
- Rum (R)
- Wine (W)
- Sundry alcoholic products (S)
Where
- + = "and"
- ~ = "not" or "no"
- - = "but not"
- = = "results in"
Ergo
In short, my trip to the burbs was ill-conceived at best.
However, Heartgirl did note that she enjoyed her birthday greatly. She said she was glad she spent it with me, then fell asleep on my couch as I went off to church.
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In other news, the buddy that swung by last time when that woman was screaming Chinatown came by again and brought me out for Malaysian food on his per diem. Man, I miss having a diem.
And I'm becoming a chunky monkey. Gotta start working out again. Stupid cold...
Music: count to five Let's craft the only thing we know into surprise
YASYCTAI: Try some new cuisine. Like Spanish tapas. (60 mins/1 pt)
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current mood:  busy but not(~) sick
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| Thursday, May 14th, 2009
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12:24 am - Hardboiled
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Me: Can we tell people that I'm good at math? They'd believe that cause I'm Asian.
Her: What are my people known for? Me: Um, colonizing minorities, spheres of influence, plying my people with opium, the usual. Her: Not my people. We were too busy dying of potato famine.
Killed a fly today by kicking it as it landed on the wall. Felt very proud. I'm sure it means little to you, but I'm 36. Being fast enough to kill a fly on the wall with your feet is a big thing to me.
Really gotta get out more.
Speaking of getting out, and to continue from the previous post, last night, took Heartgirl to Kuma Inn where we downed some excellent Filipino food - if you're gonna go, you need reservations, then you got 90 minutes to eat. If you're going on a date, bring your own bottle of wine (no rum allowed, I'm afraid) and ask for the corner table.
She and I played hooky today and we sat in the sun for some Mexican food. Later that night, saw Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist.
The real Nick and Nora were based on a old book/movie called The Thin Man. If you like how I write, consider reading some hardboiled crime drama. It's what I actually write when I'm not writing this blog.
Dunno if I ever told you that.
Been working on a novel for eight years. Really should tie that up. You'd buy a copy, yeah?
Music: minutes, it's been days, it's been all I will remember
YASYCTAI: Go for a walk if it's sunny. There're never enough sunny days. (30 mins/1 pt)
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current mood:  oddly hungry
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| Tuesday, May 12th, 2009
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12:12 am - ...then back to cleaning the cellar
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Her: We have leftovers. Do you want some?
Spent the weekend trying to clean out my cellar and not be sick. Fail on both counts.
Lived in my same apartment for over a decade. Put it this way, 10+ of the women I dated last year were 11 years old when I moved in.
Found long forgotten things: postcards, letters, tapes, cds, class notes. Goes on. Another entry, I suppose.
Managed to cut out one night to meet up with my brother, WM and Paul at a bar downtown where I ran into Sckim. Stumbled over to Heartgirl's later on that night. Then back to cleaning the cellar.
Next nights, saw them all again for dinner at John's Pizza. Best pizza in the city that you can get a in former cathedral off Times Square. Best. Then back to cleaning the cellar.
Next night, duck out to stop by Paul's. Although I had a full dinner, they had Thai leftovers that smelled great, so I inhaled those too. Afterward, went to Solas, my regular hangout. Then back to cleaning the cellar.
Didn't have time to see my mom for mother's day but did see my brother before he left. We walked past a street fair with Paul to St. Marks for some 2 Brothers Pizza, which is the best tasty pizza in the city for $1 a slice. Because it's so cheap, the stuff is amazingly fresh. Five minutes after a pie is out, it's sliced up and consumed.
We also went to Mamouns for a falafel. Then we went to BBQ Chicken for some chicken and fries. Then we went back to 2 Brother's Pizza for more pizza. All within 30 minutes.
75% of the meals my bro eats when he visits is pizza cause the pizza in Cali's not the same.
He's probably landing in LA right about now. Me? Just spilled some rum all over my desk. Suppose I should clean that up.
Then back to cleaning the cellar.
Music: breathe some life into me
YASYCTAI: Clean out the storage area. Who knows what you'll find? (days/2 pts)
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current mood: still #$!$#! sick
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| Thursday, May 7th, 2009
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12:04 am - Lies & Ties
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My brother's in town and he's helping fix somea the computers here.
Him: Apparently somebody's been plagiarizing mom's articles and reprinting them online. Me: How can you tell? Him: (laughing) She told me...and she's a got a folder that's named, Someone copy my article. ----------
Heartgirl told me recently that she doesn't know what to tell people when they ask what I do for a living. S'funny, alla the women I dated've said the same thing. Mosta my friends don't know.
It's...complicated, how I make my money.
I've a particularly odd skillset but the funny thing's that I'm very good at a several, seemingly unrelated things. But if I had to sum it up to in one unifying idea, it's that I collect and process data.
Writing, in fact, is an example of my processing data; I take various disparate concepts, weave them to one (hopefully) coherent argument and distill that to a printed page.
On that note, I've gotta pick one of these skillsets sooner than later.
Me: I'm thinking of being an officer of the court again. Him: (laughing) They're no different than us cept they wear ties.
Music: The sun in your eyes made some of the lies worth believing
YASYCTAI: Organize your computer files. (10 hrs/2 pts)
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current mood: still sick
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| Tuesday, May 5th, 2009
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12:20 am - God help us - Ole!
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| Thursday, April 30th, 2009
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12:06 am - Tres Vidas
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With nods to Kastinkerbell.
Dated several people who's favourite book's 100 Years of Solitude. Tried four times to read it but couldn't. Not my cuppa tea. But the author once said something that I think of often: Uno tiene tres vidas: la vida pública, la vida privada y la vida secreta.
That's the first thing I thought of when I heard about three lives this past April: Philip Markoff, Susan Boyle, and Russell Dunham. Philip's this fairly attractive guy with an immense hidden evil. Susan's this fairly unattractive woman with an immense hidden talent. Russell was a fairly average looking guy with an immense hidden strength.
I lived with a scumbag that murdered his girlfriend. People asked me afterward if we knew that he was capable of such a thing. Always thought that was a stupid question - as if he liked to manically stab at his food when ate.
No, people're really good at hiding their pretty and their dirty. Alla those little bits of this 'n that, aggregated over time like piles of crumbs, cemented together by secrets.
It's only when situations shift that our real selves cut through the chatter - whether that be by choice like Susan and Philip, or by chance like Russell. Our real selves're always there, just waiting.
After the London bombings, some dude quipped something like, "Always wondered how I'd act in a crisis. Turns out I'm rubbish in a crisis."
It's totally true. Everyone has three lives: a public life, a private life, and a secret life.
Me? I'd like to think that my angels'd beat my demons. Ah, but who doesn't? Nobody wakes up hoping they're a friend of the Devil.
An ex once said to me, If only your insides matched your outsides.
Do her one better: If only our outsides matched our insides.
Him: So, whatcha gonna do? Me: (thinking) Dunno yet...
Music: hard to believe we need a place called hell
YASYCTAI: Read about Russell. (20 mins/1 pt)
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current mood: satisfied
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| Tuesday, April 28th, 2009
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12:03 am - Thank you, it's alright
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Was picking up some legal papers from a potential new client the other day. The weather was perfect so I took the long walk home in the daytime. Walking past Grand Central, Dar Williams just happened to be singing It's Alright so I stopped to listen.
Ducked into a clothing store nearby to look things I can't afford. Dido's Thank You was playing. Didn't realize I was singing along until the girl standing next to me harmonized a lyric and we turned and laughed at each other.
Me: (sheepishly) Thanks for the song. Her: (laughing) Thank you.
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Went to Paul's housewarming that night. The boy lives in a 2,500 square foot apartment. Yeah, with three roomies, but still. He has a laundry room in his apartment. In Manhattan. Heartgirl and Rain swung by so we caught up.
Heartgirl: (looking at apartment, turns to me) I don't know how to tell you this but I'm strangely attracted to Paul right now. Rain: (also looking at apartment) Y'kidding me? I'm attracted to Paul right now.
Saw Heartgirl for some Latin food on a sunny street in Jersey.
Me: Y'know why they don't put lids on crab baskets? Cause they don't need to. When one tries to crawl out, the rest pull him back in.
Told Heartgirl that I was trying to be better than I was. She said she believed me.
Music: i have seen insane things all those grand historic paintings
YASYCTAI: Summer's here. Time to make some more changes. (time/2 pts)
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current mood:  sleepless
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